Tag Archives: Life

How I Feel About My Mom’s Death

I wrote this poem a couple of days ago after waking up from a bad dream where I could not find my mom and it was close to my birthday and I woke up with overwhelming grief and write out how I felt in my journal and then I wrote this:

“It has been almost 14 years to the day
Since she passed away
My mom is gone, alive on Earth no more
Since being hit by a car in December of 2017, I feel the loss stronger than ever before

Where was God when she felt unloved?

Where was God when her spirit was crushed,
and her heart and soul were broken?
Why did He let her die with her heart not able to be fully open?
Unable to open her heart to receive God’s, mine, and others’ love for her inside.
If she had, maybe she would not have cried and cried, and given up on living (and recovering from her heart attacks), or made the decision to go Home and die.
My Mom’s death left a huge hole in my heart and in my life.
And the worst part is I never got to say goodbye to her while she was still (barely) alive.

God promises me my heart He will mend
And He promises me I will see my Mom again, on the day I die and He brings me Home to Heaven.
But right now I miss her so much it hurts.
And in my life, there are days I see no worth.
I am putting in energy and time to work through my grief.
Death is a rotten, dirty thief!
But deah does Not have the final word.
My pain and tears, God has not ignored.
My health, heart, relationships and everything else will be FULLY Restored!
By the LORD, my God, Whom I love and adore.”

I also read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 to remind myself that I will see my mom again and be reunited with her forever. I also read verses like Psalms 34:17-20, 147:3 and Zephaniah 3:17 when I am really missing my mom and need to know God cares and is here with me.

Thank you to everyone that takes the time to read this. I miss my mom a lot and the anniversary of her death (June 28, 2006) is coming up… So prayers and hugs appreciated and I keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. ūüíúūüôŹ

P.S. If there is anyone else missing a lost loved one, I can pray for you if you let me know, or we can talk about it if you need someone to talk to. God bless and may God’s peace be with you All!

What Happens When You Magnify Your Fears Instead of God

What Happens When You Magnify Your Fears Instead of God

I have written about this subject before – of one’s fears being greater than faith in God, or not believing God exists at all, and even admitted to allowing fear to take over in my life in certain situations, but with all the craziness that has been going on lately with the Coronavirus, I feel a need to bring it up¬†again. This is worse than when the Swine Flu broke out back in 2009, or even the idea of Y2K (the year 2,000) when people thought that on January 1, 2000, the computers all around the world would get confused and explode and that would be the end of the world! People are once again acting like the world is about to end and everyone could die from the Coronavirus.

Let me assure you, the chances of that happening are slim. I did some diligent research just to see why people were going crazy stocking up on Powerade Zero (has electrolytes without the sugar for proper hydration and also energy boosts), toilet paper, and just about everything else there is to stock up on for emergency situations. And I also wanted to know why Amazon Fresh was suddenly not delivering groceries, even to a shut-in like me who has limited mobility and cannot go to the grocery store for myself to get what I need. Thankfully, Instacart did not buy into the fear gripping people all around the world about this virus that is spreading to more and more people daily and I got what I needed when I needed it, with a couple of exceptions like my Powerade Zero which I am upset I did not get because I have always had problems with properly hydrating and it got worse after the car hit me back in December 2017.

Anyway, the results I found state that over 80% of the people who get infected with an upper respiratory infection (which is now being labeled as Coronavirus for some reason unknown to me, and also being called SARS 2. The original outbreak of SARS occurred in November of 2002) have a mild case they will not die from. And about 15% will get a more serious case of the virus, but will still live. Only 5% who contract the Coronavirus (also known as various different forms of an upper respiratory infection such as Pneumonia) will actually die. Did you get that everyone? Only 5% of those infected will die. Now I know that even 1 person dying is bad, especially when it is someone you know and someone you care deeply about, but it sounds to me like the risk of dying is about the same as before this outbreak started! I am fully aware that the number of serious cases, and also people getting the virus is increasing daily but panicking about it and acting like every human in the world is going to get it and die is not going to make the disease go away!

Do you want to stay safe from infection? Then cover your cough and sneeze, wash your hands with warm soap and water regularly Рespecially after touching a surface that is full of germs such as a door or countertop and what not and of course after going to the bathroom, it is a matter of proper hygiene here! And in addition to not spreading your germs when coughing and sneezing, do not go out in big crowds whenever it is possible, and if you are going to a medical place like a hospital or doctor office, or somewhere else people have been reported being sick, take some precautions like wearing a mask in addition to washing your hands with soap and warm water. Panic, however, is never going to solve anything. Panic makes problems worse and magnifies the issue(s), which makes problems worse than they are already and not ever any better.

Panic is a statement that you either do not believe God exists at all, or that you do not think God cares, or that you do not believe God has the power or ability to keep you safe or to work to help you solve the issue that is causing you such great panic. For non-believers and unbelievers, the case is that God does not exist at all so there is no supernatural force that is able to keep people safe. For believers who let panic settle in, either they are around other people who turn to panic and live in a constant state of panic and paranoia (which is the case for me at the moment sadly, and I will talk more about that a bit later on) and we all know other people’s emotions and mindsets have an impact on our own mindsets and emotions…or¬†the believer does believe for everyone else but is having a hard time believing that God cares about¬†them personally or is angry with them or some other reason that would prevent God from intervening and protecting, or possibly it is a combo of both since what people say and do affects others, and there are times when even the believer who has a great faith, when that believer does not see God moving in his or her life to change something for the better, that person believes God is angry with them or has abandoned them.

I admit that for me it is a combo of both. I am around people who are constantly angry, anxious, afraid, depressed, stressed to the point of burnout and exploding in anger, and sometimes outright paranoid and their minds immediately go to the “worst-case scenario” mentality about just about everything! And I am an empath who feels not just my own feelings deeply, but other’s emotions and frames of mind greatly as well and so it negatively affects me. And I have had a few traumatic things happen to me in my lifetime so far that range from being bullied as a kid and other forms of abuse I have suffered even in my teens and adult life thus far (and I am still bullied as an adult by other adults who should know better but do it anyway), my mom’s death back in June 2006, and the car hitting me while I was a pedestrian with the right of way trying to cross the street to the other side to get to Walmart. And then there are other things like “friends” who promise to be in my life forever abandoning me suddenly and without telling me why or giving me a chance to make whatever I may have done right with them, and family members being on the list of people who mistreat me even¬†today. So believe me when I say I know that there are so many things and traumatic events that can make it difficult to believe God loves you, and unconditionally, and has never left or abandoned you and never will. I feel that way more than I care to admit. I am working on it with God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit though, and I know that without God, there would be absolutely no hope¬†whatsoever of things¬†ever¬†getting better for me or in this world in general either.

I understand that this is where non-believers and unbelievers are at right now with the Coronavirus spreading all over the world on a daily basis and I feel incredibly sad for them. My heart actually breaks for them, and not just because 2 of those people or more are related to me, but because I care. I am not heartless or mean. I can even understand why things may look hopeless and why it is hard to see light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. And I can also understand why other believers who know in their mind God loves them and that all Scripture from all 66 Books in the Bible are 100% Truth, are having a hard time believing it for themselves what God has promised for all who believe and are saved.

So what prompted me to write about this when it sounds like I understand why people are letting fear take over, which is magnifying the problem instead of magnifying God, who is greater than any disease/virus or problem any human will ever face? Well it began with my not being able to get a delivery for groceries I needed earlier this week. And then twice this week, including a few minutes before beginning writing on this blog, I overheard a conversation where 2 people are taking the panic over getting infected by the Coronavirus to the point where one is saying it is not safe to fly or go out in public places like the gym or the supermarket, and the other is talking about visiting but how can they visit for an indefinite amount of time when they only have a few days of medications left, and have so many other things to do in a planning stage of an extended visit to last for an unknown amount of time. The first person is saying that the way the person talking about travel plans to get there is safe since it is by car, but intending to return home by plane a week or even 2 weeks later is bad because things will be worse in a week or 2 because more people will be infected with the virus.

The hysteria and panic is more than I can bear because I do not see a logical reason for such a serious state of hysterics and panic! There is no earthquake, hurricane, tornado, or any form of natural disaster and we are not back in the days where the bubonic plague killed millions of people because there was not enough information on it and it was a strong and powerful contagious bacterial disease (the definition of the word¬†plague) so why are people staying inside their homes, stocking up on everything they could ever possibly need to stay inside for super long periods of time? Doctors are aware of the symptoms of Coronavirus since it is not entirely new. There may be a new form of an already existing virus, or existing form of a type of virus such as Upper Respiratory Infections, but that does not mean that we are seeing round 2 of the bubonic plague and so I say this with faith in God, who is greater than even the deadliest of diseases that exist in the world today: God has the power and authority to kill the Coronavirus completely! The thing is, if people do not believe this to be true and give in to the panic and paranoia gripping so many people because of this viral infection, then what God can do is limited. For fellow believers, you already know from reading all 4 books that make up the Gospel, that Jesus was not able to perform too many miracles (and none in a couple of places) because of people’s unbelief, especially in his hometown where He had grown up as the carpenter’s son. It was not because Jesus did not¬†want¬†to perform miracles for His family and neighbors He had grown up with, but their unbelief that prevented it. There was 1 example where a father’s unbelief did¬†not¬†stop Jesus from healing the man’s son in¬†Mark 9, but it helped that the man confessed his unbelief to Jesus and asked Him to help him overcome his unbelief. The father said “I¬†do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” But not everyone has even a small measure of faith and admits any unbelief, or asks for help overcoming their unbelief in Jesus and what Jesus is able to do for any person who believes! And therein lies the problem we are facing right now. The problem is not the virus itself, but people’s frame of mind.

When a person panics over any problem that arises in their life or in someone else’s life and they focus on the problem and it “getting worse”, then sad to say, the problem will continue to get worse. Magnifying a problem makes it bigger than it was ever meant¬†to¬†be.¬†So how about instead of magnifying the affects and effects of the Coronavirus and the possibility of it infecting one of us ourselves, or a loved one, we magnify our¬†Mighty God we serve who cares deeply for¬†everyone, including those who do not believe whether because something happened to them to make them stop believing (unbelievers) or because they never believed to begin with (non-believers) either due to lack of knowledge or because they heard about God but refuse to believe a God who allows sickness, death, pain, and separation, homelessness and other problems the world faces today to exist. What both these unbelievers and non-believers fail to understand is that these things, and all forms of evil, exist because we live in a fallen world that began when the serpent was able to entice Eve to take forbidden fruit from the¬†one tree¬†God asked/commanded both Adam and Eve never to eat from. The serpent enticed Eve, who in turn got her husband Adam to eat the forbidden fruit because instead of doing what God intended for Adam to do as husband (protect his wife and make sure she obeys God’s 1 rule), he figured if his wife was going to die, or at least get into serious trouble with God, he was going to stand by his woman and get into trouble too. Part of that is my opinion, but most of it is fact. Fact 1 is that the serpent knew Eve was insecure and he fed her insecurities and got her believing God had lied to her when He said if she or Adam ate fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil that she would¬†not¬†surely die as God said they would, but said it out of jealousy so that she and Adam would not gain the knowledge of God. Eve was convinced and let her insecurities lead to the disobedience of grabbing 2 apples: 1 for her and 1 for Adam to eat. Fact 2, Adam ate the forbidden fruit because Eve did. And when they both ate the forbidden fruit, sin entered the world along with the ill effects such as disease, suffering, separation, and all other problems we face today including death. Adam and Eve gave up a problem-free and peaceful living in the garden of Eden when they sinned against God.

Imagine this: You live in the garden of Eden and have animals to take care of, healthy food (fruit and vegetables) to eat, fellowship with God¬†face-to-face and you never had to worry about sickness, separation, death, or evil and only had¬†one¬†rule. Just¬†one! The one rule is: do not eat the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil¬†or you will surely die. 1 tree is off-limits, but there are a ton of other trees that were not off-limits, and the water they drank was probably more pure than most water available in today’s world. Eve let insecurity entice her to sin against God, and Adam sinned because his wife did and it sounded to me like he did not want her getting into trouble alone, so he joined her in sinning against God. Of course, when confronted by God Himself, Eve pointed the finger of blame at the serpent and Adam blamed Eve instead of either of them taking responsibility for their own sinful actions. But that blame game came later, after God went searching for them and saw they had covered themselves and they admitted to feeling shame over being naked, when they realized they were after eating the forbidden fruit. I am actually not 100% certain why Adam decided to eat the forbidden fruit with Eve instead of standing up to protect her by telling the serpent to leave his wife alone and making sure she did¬†not¬†eat the forbidden fruit, especially since he had been alive longer than Eve and so had spent more time with God and knew that his obedience to God made fellowship with God both possible and enjoyable. But he did do it and both he and Eve suffered the consequences, and ever since¬†we¬†have also been suffering the consequences from their decision to commit the original sin against God.

What am I saying? I am saying that bad things happen either because a person sins against God and there are consequences to those sins, and other times it is someone else’s use of their free will to commit a sin against another person and against God, and other times it is because we live in a fallen world. I honestly believe that stuff like widespread of diseases like the Coronavirus happen because we live in a fallen world where sin exists, where disease and suffering exist, and other forms of evil. However, that does not have to be an “end game” for us. When we decide daily, and sometimes moment by moment or hour by hour, to fully believe that the 1 true God¬†exists, cares deeply about you and all of mankind and also animals and all living things, has supernatural abilities and¬†willingness to help and to heal,¬†then we know that God¬†will¬†protect us, He will protect our loved ones, and just like Jesus spoke to that fig tree and told it that it would never bear fruit again and it withered from the roots up and died, that¬†same power that withered up the whole fig tree from the roots up, can do the same thing to Coronavirus and all other viruses no matter how mild or deadly (or in-between) the infectious disease or illness is. God has the power, authority, and I believe the willingness for those who will accept these truths about God, to make the infectious disease die from the roots up and wither completely! God can heal those who are currently ill and still have breath in them, when it is His will, he¬†can¬†bring the dead back to life like He did back in Biblical times (even before the Gospels, back in Old Testament days), and can also keep those not infected yet safe from being infected by¬†any¬†deadly virus at all.

There is one thing that a fellow blogger friend of mine said in her own blog about Coronavirus she posted earlier this week that I agree with completely and would like to second her sentiments on: What if people used the amount of fervor and devotion to taking measures to stay safe from being infected by the Coronavirus to worship God and believe in His ability to help us¬†recover from illness, and other circumstances that seem hopeless? What if we devoted the amount of time people are currently devoting to buying out supermarkets and other places you can get groceries and other possible necessities to protect from danger or be ready for an emergency to instead praying for God with the faith He hears and responds with yes when we pray for things in His will – which we know it is when what we pray for is in alignment with what He promises/what His word says, studying God’s Word daily with in-depth studies where we do not merely¬†read¬†what God’s Word says, but take time to learn the true meaning of the verses we are reading and how we can apply them to our lives¬†today, worship with hymns and other songs and other forms of praise to God, fellowship with other believers so we can unite together as 1 in Christ and be stronger in our faith, and doing what we can (and receiving help from the Holy Spirit) to carry out God’s will and His purpose for our lives individually and together? What would that look like to you? How would the world begin to change for the better if we began by changing the things inside ourselves that need changing such as our tendencies to let fears and worries, anxiety, depression, doubt, unbelief, jealousy, and other ungodly emotions to dictate how we live our lives and the thoughts we think, the words we say or write or type, the actions we take, and also our attitudes and behavior? How would the world change for the better if we worked on turning fear into faith and hope anchored in Jesus, anxiety to peace coming from knowing God is in control and that He loves you and everyone else unconditionally, hate into love and kindness, unforgiveness into forgiveness, understanding, mercy, and grace, and led with the heart of compassion that led Jesus in His ministry on earth and always has since Adam and Eve, and always will for all eternity because God does not just display love towards us, God¬†is¬†love! And compassion, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, patience, mercy, and grace are all important aspects of what true, unconditional love looks like. We do not always recognize it because we are humans and make mistakes and we do not always show love, even when we do have unconditional love for another person we care deeply for. However, just because we humans have a problem showing unconditional love, does not mean it is a problem for God. And just because God¬†does¬†allow consequences for sins we commit against Him, does not mean God no longer loves us or has abandoned you or anyone else who sins against Him. The truth is¬†everyone¬†sins against God at some point because nobody is perfect,¬†except for¬†Jesus, our Lord and Savior, and there is only¬†one¬†Jesus in existence who is the Son of God, yet also fully human. Admitting to be a sinner against God is not a weakness or something to be ashamed of. It takes a great amount of strength to admit when you are wrong, and even more strength to willingly work on changing the things you need to change in yourself to be more like Christ and sin¬†less. No one will ever accomplish¬†never¬†sinning against God, but it¬†is¬†possible¬†to repent and to change your heart and your mindsets and to not willfully sin against God (or as much). God sees the heart and our frame of mind when we say or do¬†anything, so He knows if there is an underlying problem such as hurt that needs to be healed in order for a person to stop committing the same sins over and over again, as unintentional as it is. God also knows when it is willful and definitely intentional, and if the reason comes from hurt or from evil/the enemy. God forgives all sins and all we need to do in order to accept His forgiveness is confess our sins and take actions to change our ways which is sincere repentance. The only unforgivable sin is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.¬†All other sins¬†can be forgiven, and are the moment we become aware of committing the sin and confess it to God and ask for the help of His Holy Spirit to repent completely. My apologies for getting slightly off-topic for a moment.

What I am trying to say is that when we believe that everything in Scripture is God-breathes and 100%¬†true and accept¬†all of¬†God’s truth in our hearts in addition to our minds and live out our lives in accordance with knowing God’s Word is Truth, which means that God does love you and everyone else unconditionally and He still has the ability and willingness to heal, protect, and lead and guide anyone who believes Him and His truth completely, there¬†is¬†hope. There is hope for better times to come, there is hope for God to heal you or a loved one of whatever sickness, disease, wounds/injuries and pain you or a loved one suffers from, and there is hope for the seemingly impossible to happen including what appears to be a hopeless situation to suddenly do a complete 180! Sometimes God works quickly to bring about the healing or the positive change in someone’s circumstance, but other times He changes things more slowly, 1 step at a time. It is frustrating, believe me, I understand! But the same God who brought Lazarus back from the dead and raised His Son Jesus from the dead has the same power, authority, and willingness to bring back from the dead our hopes, dreams, relationships, health, finances, and anything else that appears to be “dead” to you (or to me). So dear readers of mine, if God has the ability to raise someone from the dead and bring them back to life, surely He has the ability to prevent an infectious disease from killing¬†millions¬†of people, and can protect you and your loved ones without you or anyone else giving in to the panic and hysteria that has been overcoming so many people all around the world. Panic is not going to prevent the bad thing you’re trying to prevent from happening to you or anyone else! In fact, what you believe will happen will eventually happen if you dwell on it too long!

However, if you go the¬†other¬†way and decide to put your full trust in God and make the conscious decision to believe God will protect you and your loved ones and devote your time, energy, attention, and efforts into receiving God’s love and forgiveness into your hearts, praying to God continually and without ceasing until the thing you are praying for in accordance with God’s will comes to pass in yours or your loved one’s life, praise God before the prayers are answered as well as afterwards (and give God the credit for answering your prayers), worship Him, study His word deeply, and fellowship with other sincere followers of Christ with unwavering faith, then there is no reason¬†to¬†panic, and you will notice God’s love and protection in your life and in the life of your loved ones. Believing God is good, that God loves¬†you and¬†all of your loved ones¬†unconditionally, and is protecting you and your loved ones will lead to you experiencing and seeing the positive changes you seek, and the protection you continually pray for as well as other forms of provision God promises and that we ask for because of those promises He gave to us through His written Word. If what we focus our thoughts on eventually becomes a reality for us, what if instead of dwelling on the negative – such as the spreading of the Coronavirus, we fix our gaze/eyes on Jesus and we fix our thoughts on things that are true such as how loving and sovereign over all the LORD is? Do you believe it’s possible to see more of God’s goodness, unfailing love (Jeremiah 31:3a), faithfulness (see Hebrews 6:18 and also the Book of Psalms), protection, and other forms of provision from God if these are the things we fix our attention/minds on? I do! I believe that if we decide to take deep and calming breaths when we feel anxiety or panic arise inside, and remember God’s love and faithfulness from the past and believe that we will¬†see more of God’s love and faithfulness in the present and in the future, then that is what we will see happening in our lives to us individually, and to the people in our lives we continue to pray for without ceasing just like we are told to in Scripture (Ephesians 6:18).¬†Pick¬†any¬†of the 66 Books of the Bible, both Old Testament and New Testament and you will find verses filled with God’s love, mercy, grace, compassion, forgiveness, and supernatural abilities¬†and¬†willingness to turn around seemingly impossible situations.¬†Matthew 19:26¬†says that “For humans, it is impossible. But all things are possible for God.” This means that it is possible for God to protect you from something that looks impossible to be protected from, and it is possible to overcome a situation that¬†looks like¬†you are stuck in for the rest of your life. You may not be able to turn the situation around by yourself, but¬†with¬†God, you¬†can! The only thing God requires of you or me is to believe this truth, even when people and also our current circumstances seem to say “impossible.” It just so happens that impossible situations being turned around for the better are a specialty of the God (the 1 true God) that we serve! Right now the anxiety and panic people are experiencing and leading¬†people¬†to believe is a hopeless situation and doom is inevitable, and evidence in the form of more and more people being infected with a form of Coronavirus seems to back up the idea of doom being inevitable, but to the person who refuses to give in to anxiety, panic, or the thought of doom coming and “must protect myself and my family at¬†all costs including staying inside with unlimited supplies for an indefinite stay inside our home”, there¬†is¬†hope! Whether or not you end up being infected, there is the hope of living to talk about it later on! For those of us who¬†dare¬†to believe that God loves us and will protect us, God can (and¬†will) do one of three possible things for us: 1) prevent us from being infecting by Coronavirus on¬†any¬†level, 2) if we do get infected, He has the ability to heal us so it does not end in death, or 3) a person may become infected and be in the 5% of those who will die, but the promise in¬†1 Corinthians 15:54-57¬†will come to pass where death does¬†not¬†have the final say because you will be brought¬†home¬†to Heaven where you will wait in peace for the 2nd coming of Jesus and on the day Jesus does come back, and you’ve given your account of your life to Jesus and everyone else has as well, you will go spend eternity in Heaven with God, Jesus, and everyone else whom Christ will be bringing home with Him forever.

So how about this: believe God will protect you and/or heal you, and on the day when your time¬†is¬†up, He will bring you home so there is no need to worry about coming down with a deadly viral or bacterial infection because if it happens and you are right with God, you will be going home with Him. And until it¬†is¬†your time to die, God will protect you and will heal you of the physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional diseases that plague you and so many others in the world. And if God is willing to heal and protect you, and you believe He will protect your loved ones and heal them when you ask for these things in prayer in the name of Jesus to Him, then what reason is there to worry to the point of panic about something that might never¬†happen? And remember the question Jesus asked in¬†Matthew¬†and¬†in Luke:¬†“Can any of you add a single moment (or some translations say years) to your life by worrying?…(then goes on to say)¬†these thoughts dominate the minds of unbelievers (or non-believers/pagans). But your Heavenly Father already knows all of your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and He will give you everything you need.” These¬†verses can be found in¬†Matthew 6:27, 32-33,¬†with verse 34 telling us that “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”¬†And in the Book of Luke,¬†these¬†verses are found in¬†Chapter 12 (of the Book of Luke): 25-26, 30-31¬†and verse¬†32 assures us that it gives God great pleasure to gives us the Kingdom (of God). What Luke was saying was that God takes delight in supplying our needs when our focus is on Him and on furthering His Kingdom, and trusting Him to supply our needs.

So¬†I¬†ask of you, can panic over the possibility of you or a loved one add a moment or a year of life to you or your loved one? The answer is¬†no! And if worry cannot accomplish that, then why let it turn into a full-blown panic over something that might never even happen? Let us then, focus on how much God loves us and our loved ones, let us focus on His faithfulness, on His protection, on His supernatural ability and willingness to heal and to change circumstances for the better and see what focusing on these things accomplishes!¬†Mark 11:22-24¬†tells us Jesus said: “Have faith in God. I tell you the truth, you can say to this mountain, ‘May you be lifted up and thrown into the sea,’ and it will happen. But you must really believe it will happen and have no doubt in your heart. I tell you the truth, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.”¬†Let’s choose to believe we have God’s love, forgiveness, provision, protection, and healing and that the needs we have and ask for in prayer in accordance with God’s will and prayed in the name of Jesus (John 16:24), will be ours or will be given to the person we are praying for, when we believe that it will be when we are praying for it to be so. By doing this, we stop panic in its tracks before it can take root in our hearts, and we can enjoy the perfect peace that surpasses all understanding and transcends all circumstances (Philippians 4:7) in our minds and hearts, like Jesus promises us in¬†John 14:27. He says this kind of peace cannot be found in the world, but is only available through Him. And He is offering¬†you¬†that kind of peace at this very moment! He offers this kind of peace to all of us who are willing to receive and accept it and let Him take care of our worries, cares, and problems once we have done what is within our power to do and we trust Jesus to do what we cannot do for ourselves or our loved ones.

The alternative is to be trapped inside your homes and buying out grocery stores and Amazon to get all supplies a person might ever need for an emergency situation and leave those who were not quick enough to get any of those supplies for themselves in more moderate quantities to meet their needs for the next week or so and then there are people who do not have toilet paper to wipe themselves with after they are done on the toilet, no soap to wash their hands with as needed, less food and healthy beverages to drink, and other supplies a person needs to survive day to day, week by week. And the truth is that for the person who believes God¬†will¬†supply those needs, a way will open up for those people to get their food, water, soap, toilet paper, medications, and other needs they have to get through the week or month, and so on. However, there will be people without important supplies such as food or medicine because of the panic that has overtaken too many people all around the world. Why would¬†anyone¬†willingly choose¬†this for themselves or for anyone else?! I would rather decide to believe God will protect me, will heal me when it is His will to do so, and will provide my needs for me and keep me safe from harm or evil. For some people, I know it is not so much a choice because your emotions and thoughts control you (as I mentioned earlier, I admit to having these problems myself). However, when you have a moment of clarity where panic does not have a death grip on you, decide to trust that Jesus loves and cares for you and your loved ones and for¬†everyone¬†who has breath in them today (as well as caring for those who have died already), and that He will provide your needs as you need them, protect you, heal you in His time, and give other forms of His unfailing love and other displays of His faithfulness to you and your loved ones. And once you have had these thoughts about how much God loves you and your family and other loved ones, and about His faithfulness, kindness, and compassion along with His provision for you and loved ones in the past and that He can and will continue to do these things in the present and in the future, hold on to such thoughts and anchor the hope that comes with them to Jesus so that even if this hope is barely hanging on by a thread, because that thin thread is connected to Jesus, it¬†will¬†stand! And then the next time you feel anxiety or panic arising inside, take as many deep breaths as needed (breathing out the anxiety and panic, and in God’s peace and His promises), and remember God’s faithfulness and love He has for you and your family and other loved ones so that panic will not be able to get a stranglehold on you and take over as it has with people all over the world currently. And let us take this 1 step further and offer a prayer to God in the Beloved Name of His Son Jesus for these people gripped with fear and panic that God will intervene and turn their hearts and minds towards Him and have the ability to fix their thoughts on God and His love, protection, provision, and healing power He willingly bestows upon us and for them to believe He¬†will¬†supply these needs (including protection and healing) to them and their loved ones and receive the peace that transcends all circumstances and surpasses all understanding in their minds and hearts, in exchange for trusting God to take care of them and their loved ones, and bring working solutions that bring positive changes to their problems that do exist, and to any that will ever happen in the future because God is willing out of His love and faithfulness. Let us believe this for ourselves and for our loved ones, and then pray that those who do not see it right now because they are blinded by panic and Satan’s lies, for God to give them the (spiritual) sight to see God’s love, faithfulness, and willingness and ability to help, heal, protect, and provide for¬†everyone, including themselves and their loved ones, and let’s ask this in¬†Jesus’ name!

In conclusion, will you be choosing (when you are free to in a moment of clarity) to panic and let the panic take hold and lead to drastic measures such as cutting yourself off from the world and staying inside your home/bedroom, or will you dare to trust in God’s supernatural abilities and in His love and faithfulness and know that it is 100% true that God loves you, your loved ones, and¬†everyone and is faithful to honor¬†all¬†of His promises, which means that those promises you have not seen for you or a loved one yet means it is not over yet, and God¬†will¬†honor His promises in His time, and build our faith in Him as we wait in expectant hope because you are¬†that sure that God loves you, is always completely faithful, and will answer your prayers and supply you and your loved ones all of your needs as they are needed. And may I also encourage you to choose to believe that if God has not yet answered your prayer, either a scheme of Satan is delaying a quicker response as in the¬†Book of Daniel Chapter 9 when he delayed the archangel Gabriel from answering Daniel’s prayer, or He is waiting so you or someone in your life can see when He¬†does¬†heal you or turn that difficult situation around with life-changing blessings and God will receive glory, and possibly even gain new believers as a result like when Jesus healed the blind man in¬†John 9. In other words, God is either working to strengthen yours or someone else’s faith, or bring someone who previously did not believe to Him when they see the sickness that almost led to death suddenly be healed inside your body or theirs or someone else’s body, or when that difficult and seemingly hopeless situation suddenly turned around for you, them, or someone else. They will realize it could only have been¬†God¬†who did the healing or turned the situation around with a life-changing blessing, and will turn to God with sincerely repentant hearts and be saved (upon taking the necessary steps to be saved including confessing Jesus as the Son of God who is also fully human and as their Lord and Savior and being baptized – that is, fully submerged underwater as Jesus was when He was baptized, in the name of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit), and they will willingly give their whole hearts and lives to God and live the way Jesus taught us and instructs us even today through God’s Word, to live our lives. I understand all too well how hard that can be to believe sometimes, especially when it takes a long time before the healing takes places or that difficult circumstance turns around for the better, but the alternative is to give up hope and that is when panic, depression, doubt, unbelief, and other emotions not from God set inside our hearts, minds, and even our souls and spirits if we let them, and it will either take longer to see God’s healing or blessing that turns our situation around, or we will end up doing something permanent for a temporary problem. This is what the devil (Satan, also known as Lucifer, the fallen angel from Heaven who got jealous of God and wanted more followers than God and was then banished from living in Heaven ever again and all he can do now is visit when God allows him to) wants! Satan let his ego get him kicked out of Heaven for all eternity, and he wants to bring us down to an eternity in hell with him, where there will be eternal separation from God and everlasting anguish. I do not want that for me, for anyone I love or care about in any way (friends, family, etc.), or for¬†anyone¬†alive today with breath in them. I want what God told us through Peter in¬†2 Peter 3:9¬†about not being slow to keep His promises, but wanting¬†everyone¬†to be saved! I want us¬†all¬†to make it to Heaven for all eternity with God and for us¬†all¬†to know God’s love and experience His presence, love, joy, and peace now while we are among the living here on earth! I hope you will decide to believe and trust in God, so that the enemy’s plans for you do not have a chance at all! God has the final say, whether we believe it or not, so I am choosing today to believe it, and I hope you will too!

Status Update 

Dear faithful readers,

I apologize for being quiet lately. I was working on my collaborative book (my part of it and also keeping in contact with my co-author). And the other night my screen somehow got cracked on my laptop and I have no idea how. And tonight it wouldn’t load my desktop view but went to a white screen with the crack marks still visible, but now white with the rest of the screen instead of normal screen with black screen cracks. Book sales are not going well and I can’t work so I don’t know what to do about my laptop if it turns out warranty has expired.

Anyhow that’s what has been going on with me. My book sale is meant to end tomorrow  (October 10th), but until my laptop refused to work tonight, I had thoughts about possibly bringing out another edition, with same stuff but a bit more…like stuff about bullying, and anything else God would have me add to it. And if I were to do that, it’d make more sense to leave my current ebook edition as is with current reduced price added just make the 2nd edition $3.99 instead. But we will see… 

I need my laptop to write!! I tried writing info to add to my collaborative book here on my phone and it is very frustrating.

On a slightly brighter note, I am thankful for the church congregation I moved to earlier this year. They are kind, most are really compassionate, and they have helped me help my friend. My fundraiser got nothing because no one online wanted to help, but the members of my church gave what they were able to! I am so thankful to God and to everyone who gave and to the woman who helped me with collections.

I will still be doing # HurricaneRelief for #Texas, #Florida, and depending on book sales possibly other places effected by hurricanes, flooding, tornadoes, or fires. So far, only 3 sales and a few pages of my ebook read for free on #KindleUnlimited so only $2.50 to give so far…if people open their hearts and minds to learn more about Jesus and God and God’s loving nature and decide to get my books and read it, then they will also be helping me better help with hurricane relief. 

I don’t pretend to know everything about God or Jesus or Scripture, but I did share what I’ve learned so far with everyone in the book with my experiences I turned into advice with Scripture that goes with the subject or topic. And for those who do know Jesus but need hope to get through difficult times and/or stronger faith, depending how long your own walk has been with Jesus, my book could help, possibly. My writing style is kind of free style but I’ve seen other authors use the same or similar writing style and they are doing well so I’m hoping people can focus on the messages and advice the Holy Spirit helped me write with God’s Word (Scripture) and find something in my book that is helpful to them, even if just the knowledge that they are not alone in their struggles, and that Jesus does love them unconditionally.

Have a blessed week all! 

May the LORD bless you and protect you. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you His favor and give you His peace.Numbers 6:24-26.

Sale on my eBook version of How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD, Hurricane Relief info, And Message to All about Jesus and God’s Love for EVERYONE

Dear faithful readers,

For a limited time only, get my book for $2.99! Draw closer to & help me support ! No I have not forgotten! Whether you buy my eBook or my paperback https://www.amazon.com/How-Live-Godly-Life-Learned/dp/1975611586/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1506396848&sr=8-1, I will donate 50 cents to $1 (depending how many people buy my book in whichever format suits them best) for Hurricane Relief.

My book is for those seeking Truth, Jesus/God, who need hope or encouragement, and/or stronger faith. If you have no interest in reading about God or Jesus, you have the option to not read my posts and to not get my book. However, my desire is for everyone to know Jesus and to know Jesus loves him/her unconditionally and loves everyone and wants a relationship with you (if you do not already have one with Him)! I want us all to be united as one in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And at the present time, I also desire to help people in need of hurricane or other crisis relief, whether friends like my friend Kristi, or strangers Рor any of you, my faithful readers if you or someone you know is in need of hurricane, flooding, fire, earthquake, or tornado relief! I will continue praying for everyone too.

For those who are in need, remember God’s promise in¬†Zechariah 9:12.

For anyone who needs to hear it: “I have loved you with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”¬†Jeremiah 31:3

To¬†everyone:¬†May the LORD bless you and protect you. May the LORD smile on you and be gracious to you. May the LORD show you His favor and give you His peace.”¬†Numbers 6:24-26

It is¬†not¬†too late to form a right relationship with Jesus (my book lists the 5 steps from 1. hearing God’s Word to 5. being baptized then receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit), if you do not already have one! But I caution any of you who think there is more than 1 way to Heaven/God:¬†Jesus¬†said in¬†John 14:6I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the father except through me.” So to have a relationship with God, you must have a relationship with His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior who died for us on the cross to save us and was raised to life 3 days later to reconcile us to God.

For those who are already in a right relationship with Jesus, but get discouraged at times: remember God and Jesus love you¬†always, no matter what! Nothing you say or do can make Them love you more¬†or¬†less¬†than they do right now because¬†“Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”¬†Hebrews 13:8. And remember God’s promise in¬†Deuteronomy 31:6,8¬†and Jesus’ promise in¬†Matthew 28:20b¬†which both promise They are¬†always¬†with us, so God¬†and¬†Jesus are always with¬†you.


My (Alexis Kaye’s) Story in a Nutshell

Dear faithful readers,

Can you please read this and tell me if you think this is enough info on me, or if I ought to turn this into a book about my personal life and maybe add like things I am doing to work to get over the bullying I endured as a kid and how to handle it when it happens as an adult (though I do not know how right now), and to overcome or handle my depression, anxiety, and PTSD? And is there other stuff about me that ought to be included like favorites and least favorites and so on? I’d take out the “_In a Nutshell”¬†if¬†people wanted to read a longer version of my story. Also, is it a story worth self-publishing? I want people to get to know me and at least try to understand why I am the way that I am, and that I am working on overcoming my obstacles and struggles, including my physical¬†and¬†other illnesses (depression, anxiety, PTSD). Also, I want other sufferers to know they are not alone, or a¬†“bad Christian”¬†for having mental/invisible illnesses they are struggling to deal with or overcome.

Please be respectful in comments or they will be deleted (This is to any bullies who may be lurking, not to my readers whom I trust and love).

Thank you!



Alexis Kaye’s Story_In A Nutshell

I grew up in a small town in New Jersey. I was severely teased and bullied, especially in first grade through 9th grade. In 9th grade, 2 of the bullies apologized to me. The others either stopped paying any attention or mind to me at all or moved eventually. Then I moved, with my mom, to northern California in 2000 when I was 17. It was my senior year of high school and I was the new girl. Nobody bullied me, but some people did not believe certain things about me, like that I was a virgin. As they got to know me though, they came around and knew I was honest with them about my values and who I was. I even got respected for being a virgin and for Not drinking Or doing  drugs, and for not smoking.

It was a pleasant change to be liked, but the damage from the emotional abuse and bullying I had endured made me super shy abused had taken its toll on me. Of course it didn’t fully take its toll on me until adulthood, especially after my mom died in 2006, or well, a year previous when I was looking after her. In 2005 I saw just how great a peacemaker my mom had been. And when she died, any peace I had was taken from me too and a part of me died with her.

I suffer from PTSD, and debilitating anxiety and depression that prevent me from being able to work. Whenever I tried to work, from 17 years of age (1st job) to the volunteer job I had a few summers so at the Library a few blocks away, I would get sick or injured and have to stop working. It was severe migraine headaches the first time with my first job at a local movie theater in October of 2000 – as usher or concession stand depending on the day and shift, and there were more days than I would like where the nurse sent me home from school sick because of the severity of them, and I had to leave work early a couple of times. The final time, the lady boss (there were 2 bosses) wouldn’t let me leave even though my mom had come to pick me up. My mom had to step in and tell her that she was taking me home and took me home because of how much pain I was in. And the migraines stayed for several months after I quit my job one month into it.

The 2nd job, at a fast food place on campus where I made sandwiches or handled the payments from customers as cashier, from October 2005 until April 2006 I developed anemia and was missing a ton of my classes at University and work. It got to the point where I had to tell my boss – whom I was blessed was also and mentor and friend since my freshman year – that I was being unreliable and she deserved better and I quit so she didn’t have to fire me, and she was relieved that I quit because she was concerned about my health, and She didn’t want to fire me.

My volunteer job at the local library I enjoyed most in summer 2014-September 2015. I enjoyed it so much I kept working even when I sprained my ankle, or re-sprained it, since I had first sprained it back in 2003. I actually did great until my boss retired and a new lady was hired. We did not get along and she did not help me with rescheduling my story time days when a conflict came up and I had a weekly therapy appointment after starting it after an incident That occurred a few months prior to me beginning therapy. She also did not help me at all with the monthly crafts I was hosting in advertising and picking a day when nothing else was going on. My last craft before I quit only had 3 kids showing up, where prior to that anywhere between 10 to 20 kids plus parents showed up to do crafts with their kids. And shortly after I quit, I realized how burned out I had been because I was sick lots too.

I’ve always had a week immune system, but I notice whenever I work too hard I get overwhelmed and I get sick. When I keep getting sick, I become unreliable as well as unhealthy – so it was not good for any employers or for me. Basically, anxiety and stress become so bad I get physically ill ¬†(and always a different illness) and have to stop working/quit.

When I say I am unable to work, this is why. I am not lazy Or irresponsible. I’m¬†not¬†just making excuses either. I have mental/emotional disabilities that prevent¬† me from working a regular job (I am a writer, and self-published author). Just because my disabilities are not physical or visible does not make them invalid, excuses, or nonexistent. You (a general “you”, not everyone or anyone in particular) see someone in a wheelchair who doesn’t work and you totally understand because you can see their disability. But people look at me and see nothing wrong so assume the worst about me and judge me without even trying to understand. I sometimes even get bullied for it by people who do not have anxiety, depression or PTSD and so the don’t understand the struggles I face daily or care enough to try to understand on any level at all.

That is why I thank God for blessing me with friends who do understand because they too suffer either from the same invisible illnesses as me or similar ones like bipolar. And I have my relatives in England and 2 in Australia since they moved there who at least want to understand and try to. They don’t really understand, but they try because they love me. I thank God for them too.

In April of 2012 I was saved when I came to the LORD and was baptized after confessing Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I thought that after everything I had heard about Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I would feel different and immediately¬†feel peace. I was disappointed when I didn’t, but my brothers and sisters in Christ assured me that it was a process that took time and not to get discouraged. I have changed, slowly, in the last 5 years and few months, but not significantly enough for my liking. Also apparently not enough for the minister who baptized me’s liking because he kept getting on my case about things and tried making me feel guilty for not being further along in my walk and because of my depression and anxiety. He kept telling me they are sins, which I know, and making me feel guilty. I started going to another church part-time when I needed to get away from the guilt trips and the Pastor at the other congregation said it was wrong to make me feel bad for my anxiety or depression. Also, I know about Elijah and King David and others who experienced either anxiety, depression, or both at one point (like Jeremiah) in the Bible but God never condemned them or judged them or abandoned them. Instead He encouraged them and gave them strength and courage to keep going and to not give up on life or on His purpose for them.

I recently self-published an inspirational book I wrote about my experiences in the past few years turned into advice with Scripture that relates to the topic I talk about. People are motivated buying it. A few did in July, a couple in August and 1 or 2 this month so far but that’s it. I feel invisible and like no one cares, which is how I have felt most ¬†of my life. I am not blaming anyone, but if people did not keep mistreating me, ignoring me, acting like I carry a deadly infectious plague that could kill them, or like dirt/with cruelty then I would not feel like nobody cares or invisible, or unloved and unwanted. I understand now, as an adult, that it is me who is responsible for my levels of joy and peace I have and for my happiness, but I have over 30 years of emotional abuse and poor treatment to overcome, and when both of these things are still ongoing at times, it makes it harder to overcome them and feel joy or peace. I am still learning how it is possible to have peace when people do not want to be around you and those who are around can be emotionally abusive and/or treat me badly. I am learning how it is possible to love myself properly when it appears no one else does.

Jesus and His followers are teaching me, but I am having a hard time learning. I struggle daily just like everyone else. Everyone has their own problems and some similar to mine, others completely different, but struggles nonetheless. But though I struggle daily, it does not make my advice any less valuable or true since it comes from God and I use Scripture to show it/back it up. For those who do not know Jesus or who are confused , or need encouragement, and/or stronger faith in Jesus and in the One True God, I have things to say in my book that could help, if given a chance.

I wrote my book for those who need it, not for those further in their walk than me who do not need a reminder of some truths, if they have not been forgotten by the person who knows them. I am still learning how to take good care of myself, but I have always been good at helping others. Most of my friends used to come to me for advice all the time. And they always said I gave excellent advice. The only thing that has changed in my advice is that I now have even better advice to give through daily Bible study. I try to discern when to use Scripture and when not to, depending on the person and if the are open to it or not, but it is sound advice. And now it is available for everyone to read in the form of an inspirational  eBook and in paperback too.

I have lost friends over the past few years for a couple of different reasons, ¬†but the main reason Is my faith in Jesus and my daily attempts and struggles to live for Jesus daily. And some people have told me I was high maintenance or too much of a downer (the 2nd one I was told like 2 years after my mom passed away when I was still grieving her loss after that hurt after lot). It seems some ca not handle my anxiety and depression anymore and so we either do not talk at all, or rarely do and it makes me really sad. What makes me sadder still is some of them have their own battles with depression and/or anxiety they deal with daily and I no longer know how to reach them and help them through those times because they won’t let me anymore. So they’re not there for me anymore and they won’t let me be there for them. I get it… physical distance separates us, and that’s hard to overcome, but it didn’t used to be and I don’t get why it suddenly is. I don’t judge these friends or hate them or begrudge them. I pray for them a the time and hope one day their lives will turn around for the better and that mine will too and we can all celebrate our better lives, together, in person. I love a my friends, and I still love those who walked away from our friendship too. My love is unconditional and the only way I know how to love, which is the way Jesus loves each and every one of us too.

I want to help those in need more than I do now, but due to not being able to work and book sales not going well, I am currently unable to which leaves me full of anxiety for my friends, and even for those I don’t know who need help that I can’t give them, and it leaves me frustrated because I desperately want to help but can’t; but people who can help will not, just like in my own life. I get some help. I live with my sister rent free because of a promise she made to my mom before she died. But doctors who could help me fix or heal my broken nose, and some other physical illnesses won’t help and aside from being poor and on MediCal for health insurance, I don’t understand their unwillingness to help me get well. And I both know, and know of too many other people with injuries or physical or mental illnesses and no doctors will help them either.

So why do those in a position to help generally either not help or give bare minimum when those who desperately want to help can’t because no money or resources to help? Some who can help do help, and God will bless them, but too who can help in one way or another don’t. I am not trying to many anybody feel guilty And I’m not ¬†judging anyone. I just sincerely don’t get it. I especially don’t get why doctors will not help those who can’t afford to pay or who have MediCal for health coverage. MediCal pays the doctor’s bill, so what’s the problem?

Also, just because someone suffers from an invisible illness where you can’t see their symptoms or daily struggles does not mean they don’t struggle or that they are lepers or contagious or to be treated badly by anyone, whether doctor or nurse, family member or friend, or boss or coworkers for those who do work despite their illnesses, or by any person including strangers. And everyone suffers from physical illnesses differently too so it is not right to judge anyone for not being able to do something someone else can do with the same illness – like asthma, for example. In fact, only Jesus has the right to judge anyone¬†because He alone knows exactly what each of us experiences and goes through everyday, and God gave Jesus alone the right to judge, which will not take place until His second coming – which no one knows when it will take place so we ought to be prepared daily in case it happens tonight or tomorrow!


Reasons to Get My Book (I talk about Hurricane Relief too)

Dear faithful readers,

despite what haters think, I am not begging anyone to get my book. Nor am I being calculating or insincere! I truly care! I did however, think of something inspiring and awesome to do and want to share with you! If you are able to purchase my book in either of the 2 formats it is available in (eBook on Kindle or paperback), I will be able to better help people in need like with Hurricane Relief! Watch and listen what I have to say please!

Reasons to get my book

As mentioned in my video, those affected by hurricanes, tornadoes, fires, flooding, or any natural disasters I am continuing to pray for you and will not cease from praying until God has restored what’s been lost, healed those who lost loved ones, and everyone is safe! If you need me to pray personally for you, please do not hesitate to ask me and I will gladly do it! Jesus loves you! Let’s draw closer to Jesus and help one another rebuild lives that were taken or destroyed (homes, cars, jobs, etc.) ! Together we can make a difference!!!!

Proverbs 11:25 says that “The generous will prosper; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.”

And let’s remember Matthew 18:19-20‘s promise that “where two or more agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather as my followers, I am there among them.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come before You in the name in Jesus asking You to open the hearts and minds of everyone so that they are open to learning the truth contained in Your Word, and also are willing to help others in need during this difficult time after all the Hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, fires, and floods that have taken lives and destroyed others’ ways of living (homes, jobs, transportation, etc.). For those who are in need, may You intervene personally in each of their lives and restore double what was taken from them (Zechariah 9:12), heal and comfort those who lost loved ones, find those who were lost in Hurricane Irma or any of the other natural disasters, and draw us all closer to You in love and truth. In Jesus’ name! Amen

Links to my book:




In a previous post I did a couple of weeks ago, I provided a link that had a list of all countries my eBook is available in, and in a separate post I have links for all countries where my paperback is currently available! If you need these links again let me know please, if you cannot find them!

God bless to everyone who will help me contribute to those in need from natural disaster/Hurricane relief and to everyone who is praying for those in need! And if you are in need, may God bless you to get the help you need!

I am being completely sincere! I cannot work because of disability, so I can’t really help much right now. But with royalties that come to me through sales of my book, I will be able to help more than I can now, and you will be helping too! I am sure there are those of you who have already made donations directly either to Red Cross or family members or friends who have fundraisers to help them get back on their feet, and that is awesome! What I am asking is for you to help me be able to help too because I want to do more and am currently limited in what I can do! It hurts my heart that I can’t do more! Can we please help one another?! I care about everyone, including everyone affected by the Hurricanes and other natural disasters/fires and stuff! I care about all of you and whether or not your soul is/gets saved and you make it to Heaven! Help me spread my love, and let’s all spread our love, to others and to one another! God bless!


Dear faithful readers,

I did another reading from my book How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD. This time I picked 2 paragraphs from 2 separate pages from my book to make the reading a bit longer. I apologize in advance for how low my voice is in the video. I listened to it and you can hear me, so I hope no one has trouble hearing me as they watch! Everyone had just gone to bed when I did this video reading an hour ago.  2 Scriptures I quote in my reading tonight are from Psalms 103:8 (1st paragraph I read) and Isaiah 26:3 (2nd paragraph I read from).

God is not angry with you! He loves you, unconditionally! And He wants to protect you and give you peace!

Short Reading 2 from How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD

You can get my book here in eBook format for Kindle here: https://www.amazon.com/Live-Godly-Life-Alexis-Wright-ebook/dp/B074196VMB/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500530872&sr=8-1&keywords=Alexis+Kaye+Wright

Or in paperback here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1975611586

or here: https://www.createspace.com/7483987

Off Topic…

I am relieved that Hurricane Irma is almost gone now, and will continue praying for Florida, Georgia, The Carolinas (North and South), and everyone else affected! I am also continuing prayers for Texas and Louisiana and everyone else affected by Hurricane Harvey.  I will not stop praying until all hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, flooding, and fires are gone and the people affected do not need prayers anymore.

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope. I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles.Zechariah 9:12



More on Bullying

Dear Faithful Readers,

I keep hearing or reading about more people being bullied, and a lot of them are adults being bullied by other adults. I wrote a whole post with friends on the subject and #bullying is never okay under any circumstances.

I just did a video talking about it: https://vimeo.com/233074291

I am considering putting my part of the bullying piece I wrote with some friends in my book and then adding some stuff like Scripture and Jesus’ and God’s view on bullying, since They are also against it.

The prophet Elisha got severely mocked by a group of boys and got eaten by two bears, in 2 Kings 2:23-25.

Jesus endured being mocked and bullied for us on the cross before He died and went up to Heaven, but that does not mean that God or Jesus were okay with it.

In Galatians 5:19-20, where the list of following your sinful nature’s desires is mentioned it talks about hostility and dissention, and I would think bullying falls under 1 or both categories and the apostle Paul warns us that such people will not inherit the Kingdom of God. He also warns us in Ephesians 5:4 to stay away from “obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes” and a little before that in Ephesians 4:29-32 about not using foul or abusive language and getting rid of all harsh words and evil behavior and instead being forgiving and tenderhearted and using words to encourage and build other people up.

The term “bullying” may not be found in these Scriptures (though mocking is similar to bullying, the way the boys were doing it in 2 Kings 2), but it is covered within the text that is used, if you dig deeper and fully understand the whole context of what Paul is saying.

When you bully someone, you make the person feel small and worthless, and kids/teens and even adults have taken their lives because they couldn’t take the bullying or how it made them feel and they felt like it was the only way out. Others have come close to suicide and/or suffered major mental breakdowns because of bullies. Bullies: you need to understand that your words and actions do affect others, and you know that’s your intent. But do you realize how deeply and badly you affect your victims? It needs to stop!

To anyone reading this who has ever suffered from bullying: You are not alone! I have been there, and even in present time there are days where adults who ought to know better bully me anyway. Know also that #Jesus is with you and that He loves you unconditionally! He sees you as fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14 NIV) and as God the Father’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). There is hope, when it is anchored to Jesus.

I want to do something to help end bullying but since I am unable to work and book sales are not going well, I am very limited in what I can do. But if there is ever anything I can do then let me know, please! I want to help!

Off topic: I am continuing to #pray for everyone in Texas, Louisiana, everywhere else affected by Hurricane Harvey and for people experiencing Hurricane Irma and the other Hurricanes that have formed, and Florida, Georgia, and everywhere else expected to be hit by one or more of these hurricanes! Please continue to pray with me for everyone! And let us also pray for one another where the bullying is concerned. Let us pray for the bullying to stop, for God to deal with them and let us pray for the bullies to turn to God and give up their evil ways and be saved and live for Jesus! God bless to you all!


Seek the Approval of God NOT Other People

Dear readers,

As promised, here is the 2nd part to/the full blog about pleasing others instead of pleasing God. It did not turn out how I expected it to, but I wrote what I felt the Holy Spirit leading me to write, so here it is! Thank you for your patience! Here it is:

Alexis Malek

April 12-13, 2017

Seek the Approval of God NOT Other People

10 ‚ÄúObviously, I‚Äôm not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ‚Äôs servant.”


I know I have previously written on this subject, but it has come to my attention a lot recently that it needs to be addressed again. I myself have always been a people pleaser and this has gotten me nowhere but heartache, pain, and sometimes trouble (especially trouble with God). I am trying to break free of this habit, and have been trying to do so since learning this was a sin and foolish in the eyes of God, which I learned sometime after being saved almost 5 years ago (April 18, 2012 I was baptized and received the gift of the Holy Spirit). Since I am trying hard to break free from this awful habit, I must also cut ties with people who are habitual and unapologetically people pleasers Рespecially ones who claim to be walking with the Lord, Jesus.

But how can a person say they are walking with the LORD, that they trust only Jesus and love Him with all their being but then in the next breath (or in some cases, in their next written or typed sentence) say that they want to make everyone happy and please everyone and nothing is more important to helping others than to try to make sure they are all happy? Sounds like people-pleasing to me. However, the Bible specifically states that we are not to please people, but God in several places in both OT and NT.

Proverbs 29:25¬†says,¬†‚ÄúFearing people is a dangerous trap, but trusting the Lord means safety.‚ÄĚ

1 Thessalonians 2:4 says, ‚ÄúFor we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.‚ÄĚ

John 12:43 says, ‚ÄúFor they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.‚ÄĚ

There are also examples of men putting pleasing people before pleasing God into action in the Bible. For instance, when Jesus was handed over to His enemies by Judas and He stood before Pilate and the high priests had gotten the crowd all fired up against Jesus, Pilate asked who to release, the prisoner named Barabbas or Jesus and the crowd shouted: ‚Äúcrucify Him!‚ÄĚ So to please the crowd, Pilate released Barabbas (a murderer), and ordered for Jesus to be flogged (whipped) and crucified (Mark 15:9-15). Pilate knew Jesus was innocent of the crimes He was arrested for and that he‚Äôd been sent to prison because the high priests were envious of Him (v. 10), but to please (or pacify, as it is written in my NLT version), he released a vicious murderer and had an innocent man (who they found out too late truly was the Son of God) beaten and crucified.

Being in the business of people-pleasing is still similar today. Whenever we make a decision to try to please everyone (or even 1 particular person or group of people), we are telling Jesus that we do not fully believe in Him and/or that we do not love Him as much as (or at all, depending on who the people-pleasing person is) we love the people we are trying to please. Jesus warns us against this in Matthew 10:37-39 that if anyone loves their mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, or anyone else more than they love Him, that they are not worthy of being His follower. He is not telling us to hate our family, friends, or other loved ones РHe is telling us to love them less, because their lives are finite and will end (and those who do not believe in Jesus will be separated from all who believed, loved, and obeyed Jesus while they were here on earth, whether for an hour or most of their lives or anywhere in-between), but Jesus is infinite (He has existed since the beginning of time and will always be in existence) and holds the keys to eternity with Him and the Father in Heaven. When we love, follow, and obey Jesus in faith, we learn how to live the right way and we get prepared to how life will be like in Heaven when there will be no more evil, no more sadness or crying, no more suffering or pain or loss or betrayals: all bad stuff will be done away with and the things that remain will be love, peace, faith, hope, joy, and those who were faithfully obedient to the Lord Jesus, the Son of God and our Lord and Savior.

On the other hand, living for worldly pleasures and to please people will lead to a life of self-destruction and also your actions and words will have a negative impact on others in the world and it is insecurity and self-centeredness that led to the first sin ever committed in this world from Eve after the serpent deceived her. She was deceived because she was na√Įve and she was insecure after the serpent (Satan in disguise) told her she could have the same knowledge God had and be like Him and be equal to Him, and she wanted it so badly that she went against God‚Äôs command not to eat from the 1 fruit tree that was forbidden and we all know what happened after that! —> Sin entered the world along with death, destruction, pain, suffering, separation, sickness, greed, poverty, and all the other problems we face in today‚Äôs world.

Why am I bringing this subject up again, one might ask? I have been guilty of being a people pleaser my whole life, and for the past few years, I have been working hard to break the cycle. I still hate confrontation because I don‚Äôt like hurting other people‚Äôs feelings (or the possibility of it) and I do not want to upset anyone or rock the boat of our friendship or current relationship status (including blood family, and spiritual family at church). And honestly, their reactions/possible bad reactions cause me anxiety because sometimes people (including me, another bad habit I am working to get rid of) explode in anger or get super offended and hurt and cry or yell or both, and some throw things as they yell, and relationships end sometimes when the other person is unwilling to accept what they are hearing and distance themselves as far from the truth they do not want to hear as possible. But I know, because it says so in Scripture, that it is wrong to aim to please people above pleasing God, and fearing man is dangerous, but trusting God leads to safety (as we can read in Proverbs 29:25. And the flip-side to that is this: ‚ÄúFear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge (or wisdom, depending on translation).‚ÄĚ Proverbs 1:7a

The second part of that Proverb (Proverb 1:7b) is that ‚Äúbut fools despise wisdom and discipline.‚ÄĚ Why do we act so foolish? Is it lack of knowledge, wisdom, and understanding? Is it selfishness? I believe it depends on the person, because some people are not selfish, they just lack the proper wisdom or understanding to know what is right in a situation that is not as simple as black and white (right or wrong). ‚ÄúThou shalt not murder‚ÄĚ is an obviously wrong/bad thing to do. However, doing something good for someone else may not necessarily be easy to see as doing something wrong if the person cannot see that their motive is to please the person instead of honoring God. Sometimes, people do the right things for the wrong reasons and then it is considered a sin against God because God examines the heart, He examines the reasons¬†for our words and actions. If our motives are pure and bring glory to God (and that is our intent), then God is pleased. However, if we do something to please another person, then God is not pleased. And to do something we know in our hearts goes against God, but we do it anyway because we are afraid what the person¬†we are doing the thing for will do to us if we do not do or say what they told us to, then we are guilty of acting against God in more than 1 way: first, because we feared man more than God and second, because we did something that went against God (i.e. lying to others because they demand it and cannot handle the truth).

There is a third option if you are unsure whether or not to do something, to do the right thing for the right reasons, and if you rightly fear God if you’re being asked to do something wrong and sinful but you know it is wrong and do not want to do it: pray. We are told to pray on every occasion, continually and persistently, in Ephesians 6:18. There are many other places in the Bible where we are told to pray in NT, and in OT, we have many examples of those who did the praying, such as Daniel (Book of Daniel), and King David (1 and 2 Samuel). God has the right solutions to every problem we will ever encounter in life. The question is, will we be willing to pray to Him to reveal what it is when the right thing to do is unclear to us? Will you continue being a people pleaser, or will you give up your life to follow the Lord (Jesus Christ) and do things His way, which is the right way? This question is for both believers as well as non-believers. For non-believers: it is not too late to turn your life around, be saved (take the necessary steps to be saved including proper form of baptism), and to daily follow Jesus and live life the way He taught us to both in words and example by the way He lived His own life here on earth as a human.

I recently had to end a very short-lived friendship with someone I met in a support group for anxiety and depression because he claimed to be a man of God who loved Jesus above everyone else and trusted only Jesus. Yet when he created his own support group with ‚Äúhope‚ÄĚ in the title (for those of us who suffer from depression, so we would know there is still hope that it will not last forever and that things can and will get better), at one point he forgot that Jesus was a major factor in the helping and supporting others (since it is important and also brings healing¬†to those who believe when they hear it¬†that Jesus loves them unconditionally, and has the power to heal them) and banned any mention of God or Jesus from the group and was not afraid of other believers leaving the group (and there were others besides me who also left due to this). He said that the reason he created the group was to help others, and there were those who were against hearing about God and Jesus and complained to him about it. Another admin after she left the group had said that there were only a few who did this objecting but most of the members joining were for hearing the Truth, were for hearing about God and Jesus. So one person who began with good intentions, let a few people dictate what was allowed and what was not allowed in his support group. He let their anti-Christ mind-sets wreak havoc with his own sense of right from wrong and he forgot that Jesus is a key to healing. Some people believe in doctors and the medicine they prescribe to heal them of whatever sickness or ailments or pain they experience. Some rely on natural remedies (which both of these things are OK initially, but not when that is the sole thing they rely on: medicine – whether RX or over the counter (self-medicating), or natural remedies). Jesus may, and sometimes does lead us to a specific doctor who will prescribe specific meds or let you know of natural alternatives (depending on the doctor) to help heal us or make us better. However, the first step should be believing that Jesus has the power to heal us, step 2 is to pray to Him about how to get the healing we need from Him, and step 3 is obeying Him whatever He tells us to do. Also, truly believing and accepting that Jesus loves us unconditionally can be healing as well, knowing that no matter how well or poorly we act (as long as we continue to confess our sins to Him like in 1 John 1:9), He will forgive us because when He died for us on the cross, it was to save us from all of the sins we have and would ever commit and not just the sins we had committed prior to being made right with God through a soul-saving relationship with Him (Jesus).

Standing on this truth in your heart, in your mind, and letting it enter every fiber of your being, will help you to be at peace in the midst of storms and feel joy when things are bad in your life, and you will no longer be crushed by the overwhelming weight of anxiety, depression, bitterness, unforgiveness, anger, rage, discouragement, fear, doubt, unbelief, and/or whatever else currently weighs you down. I know that these things currently weigh me down (though I thank God that bitterness has not taken root in all areas of my life and just in a couple of relationships, which I am working to uproot the bitterness so it does not spread to every other relationship and to every area of my life) and I feel like I am drowning and that Jesus (my ‚Äúlifeguard that walks on water‚ÄĚ) is too far away to reach me and save me most days. Part of my personal problem is that I am having a hard time internalizing personally what I know and understand on an intellectual level about God‚Äôs love and Jesus‚Äô sacrifice of His life for me on the cross. I believe that many others suffer from this problem too. It is one thing to know a fact about something or someone, but it is completely different to reconcile the truth of it personally in your own life, especially when it comes to something as truly wonderful as God‚Äôs unconditional unfailing and everlasting love, mercy, and grace for us, which makes Him slow to anger and eager to forgive and blot out the stain of our sins and not remember them anymore. I believe if we could all (everyone alive today not already doing this successfully) learn to personally feel and believe and accept in our hearts how much God truly loves us, and feel the full extent of His forgiveness that was given through the shedding of Christ‚Äôs blood so we would not have do die for our sins because Jesus did for us all, each and every one of us, then it would be a whole lot easier to live life to please God and to do what is right, even if it means that not every person will be pleased. In fact, when we do what pleases God, there will always be people who don‚Äôt like it and who will complain or leave your life. I learned this the hard way several times since coming into a right relationship with the Lord nearly 5 years ago – on April 18, 2012.


What we need to learn is that not everyone wants to believe or accept the truth, so as much as we want it to be, those who live like this will not be saved. We need to let loving and honoring Jesus be more important than pleasing people. We need to learn to be full-time God-pleasers and to accept that there will be people, even among those we love, that will not be pleased by our words, actions, attitudes, behavior, or devotion to Christ. It is hard to let go of people we love and of seeing God‚Äôs promises for our lives come to pass on our timeline and in the way we want it to, but it is something we need to learn to do and to do well if we are to live joyful and peaceful lives. We need to trust God‚Äôs timing, and that the rare times God says no (instead of ‚Äúnot yet‚ÄĚ), that the thing we want is bad for us, and/or that He has something better in mind for us because God sees the whole picture and we see only a partial picture.


And consider this: Sometimes when we aim to please people by saying or doing what they want and not saying and not doing things that offend, upset, or annoy them, we are doing them a disservice. We are enabling them to continue living in spiritual darkness, and to live selfishly to please themselves, which will lead to eternity in Hell for them. Part of our jobs as Christians is to make sure everyone¬†in our lives and everyone we come across (when given the opportunity to do so) know/be told the truth about God and Jesus, and learn about the Good News of salvation and how to attain it. Then it is up to the person receiving the information whether to accept it or reject it. We can try to water the seed planted with words of love and encouragement and by the way we live our own lives, but we cannot force anyone to believe or accept something they either are not yet ready to accept, or will never believe or accept as the truth because of the veil Satan placed on their minds. But we may never know if the person initially rejecting Jesus or the truth will ever turn their lives around and give their hearts to Jesus if we do not try to share the truth/Jesus‚Äô love with them, and if we do not try to find out why they are so against anything having to do with Jesus or God. It is possible they were hurt by a ‚ÄúChristian‚ÄĚ or that there was a tragedy in their lives or traumatic event, and they cannot understand how a ‚Äúsupposedly loving God could ‚Äėlet‚Äô such bad things happen to them or to innocent people in the world. I still do not understand such things myself, but there comes a time when a person needs to learn to ‚Äútrust in the LORD and do not depend on your own understanding‚ÄĚ (Proverbs 3:5), and to believe His promise in Romans 8:28 ‚Äúto work everything together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.‚ÄĚ Instead of working so hard at pleasing others and trying to pacify them or keep them happy, what if we decided to live out the truth Jesus taught us in the Gospels and live pure lives that please and honor God, and perhaps someday we will see the miracle (especially if we continually pray for the unbelievers and non-believers among us: friends, family, and others God puts in our paths) of at least 1 (possibly more than 1) of those people having a change of heart and giving their hearts to God and their lives to Jesus to be saved! How incredible would that be? When we please God, it can bring about miracles. He can make our enemies be at peace with us. Pleasing God can bring non-believers to (and unbelievers back to) the Lord to be saved. It can bring healing to our bodies, hearts, minds, souls, and spirits. Nothing is too hard, or impossible¬†for God. However, when a person dies, so does any help you were receiving from them and any hope of whatever you were hoping for or expecting from them. That is why we are to put our hope and trust in God and not in people, money, or circumstances.


Yes, it can be painful either when someone we care deeply for leaves our lives and treats us like lepers because we love and follow Jesus and they want nothing to do with the truth or Jesus because then they’d have to admit they are wrong and change their ways. Yes it is painful when we have to say goodbye to someone we care about because they are toxic to us and if they stayed in our lives, they could lead us astray and we would forfeit our salvation. However, wouldn’t it be even worse to lose our salvation because we thought keeping everyone we love in our lives (even non-believers/anyone against Christ/Truth/God) was more important than the salvation of our own souls, and we did everything the other person/other people wanted in order to get them to stay in our lives? What is more important, pleasing people or the salvation of our souls? If the answer is the salvation of our souls (and pleasing God and following Jesus) then no matter how painful it is for us, we need to do what is best according to God, because He truly knows what is best and what is right for us, and knows better than any other person would what is right for us. It will not be easy, and Jesus warns all of us to count the cost before following Him, but it is more rewarding to be able to learn to live your life filled with peace and joy, even in the midst of horrific storms (trials and tribulations) in our lives now and the promise of eternity in Heaven forever after Jesus 2nd Coming. Am I saying to never please other people? No! In fact, Jesus came to serve us and has commanded us to do the same (to serve others). The key is to remember we are doing it for God and not solely for the other person to win their approval or like or love. When we work to serve others, we are to examine our motives for doing so and make sure that our reasons are pure and to honor God and help the person (regardless of whether or not they can ever return the favor or do something in return), and not to please people or expecting something in return. The right people will be pleased when we obey God and do things that please Him. And we are not to worry about those who do not like or accept what we do in obedience to the LORD, or in the way we conduct ourselves and live our lives.


What will you decide to do? Will you work to please God (first) and do what is right and for the right (pure) reasons, or will you continue to be a people pleaser who either does wrong, or does the right things for the wrong reasons or does the wrong things for the right reasons? When our goal is to please God first and foremost, He will reveal to us the right way to do things and give us the right words to say to others. The decision whether to please others, please yourself, or to please God is entirely up to you. I hope you will at least pray about it and ask the Lord to help you make the right decision and to stand by it and do the right things always, no matter how difficult. Thank you for taking time to read this. I believe in doing so, that you truly do want to please God and that there is hope for you! I hope there is still hope for me, but I believe there is definitely hope for you, as long as you have breath in you to make the necessary changes in your life, with the help of the Holy Spirit and Jesus. May God’s love and peace be with you!