Tag Archives: Inspirational

My (Alexis Kaye’s) Story in a Nutshell

Dear faithful readers,

Can you please read this and tell me if you think this is enough info on me, or if I ought to turn this into a book about my personal life and maybe add like things I am doing to work to get over the bullying I endured as a kid and how to handle it when it happens as an adult (though I do not know how right now), and to overcome or handle my depression, anxiety, and PTSD? And is there other stuff about me that ought to be included like favorites and least favorites and so on? I’d take out the “_In a Nutshell” if people wanted to read a longer version of my story. Also, is it a story worth self-publishing? I want people to get to know me and at least try to understand why I am the way that I am, and that I am working on overcoming my obstacles and struggles, including my physical and other illnesses (depression, anxiety, PTSD). Also, I want other sufferers to know they are not alone, or a “bad Christian” for having mental/invisible illnesses they are struggling to deal with or overcome.

Please be respectful in comments or they will be deleted (This is to any bullies who may be lurking, not to my readers whom I trust and love).

Thank you!

Alexis

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Alexis Kaye’s Story_In A Nutshell

I grew up in a small town in New Jersey. I was severely teased and bullied, especially in first grade through 9th grade. In 9th grade, 2 of the bullies apologized to me. The others either stopped paying any attention or mind to me at all or moved eventually. Then I moved, with my mom, to northern California in 2000 when I was 17. It was my senior year of high school and I was the new girl. Nobody bullied me, but some people did not believe certain things about me, like that I was a virgin. As they got to know me though, they came around and knew I was honest with them about my values and who I was. I even got respected for being a virgin and for Not drinking Or doing  drugs, and for not smoking.

It was a pleasant change to be liked, but the damage from the emotional abuse and bullying I had endured made me super shy abused had taken its toll on me. Of course it didn’t fully take its toll on me until adulthood, especially after my mom died in 2006, or well, a year previous when I was looking after her. In 2005 I saw just how great a peacemaker my mom had been. And when she died, any peace I had was taken from me too and a part of me died with her.

I suffer from PTSD, and debilitating anxiety and depression that prevent me from being able to work. Whenever I tried to work, from 17 years of age (1st job) to the volunteer job I had a few summers so at the Library a few blocks away, I would get sick or injured and have to stop working. It was severe migraine headaches the first time with my first job at a local movie theater in October of 2000 – as usher or concession stand depending on the day and shift, and there were more days than I would like where the nurse sent me home from school sick because of the severity of them, and I had to leave work early a couple of times. The final time, the lady boss (there were 2 bosses) wouldn’t let me leave even though my mom had come to pick me up. My mom had to step in and tell her that she was taking me home and took me home because of how much pain I was in. And the migraines stayed for several months after I quit my job one month into it.

The 2nd job, at a fast food place on campus where I made sandwiches or handled the payments from customers as cashier, from October 2005 until April 2006 I developed anemia and was missing a ton of my classes at University and work. It got to the point where I had to tell my boss – whom I was blessed was also and mentor and friend since my freshman year – that I was being unreliable and she deserved better and I quit so she didn’t have to fire me, and she was relieved that I quit because she was concerned about my health, and She didn’t want to fire me.

My volunteer job at the local library I enjoyed most in summer 2014-September 2015. I enjoyed it so much I kept working even when I sprained my ankle, or re-sprained it, since I had first sprained it back in 2003. I actually did great until my boss retired and a new lady was hired. We did not get along and she did not help me with rescheduling my story time days when a conflict came up and I had a weekly therapy appointment after starting it after an incident That occurred a few months prior to me beginning therapy. She also did not help me at all with the monthly crafts I was hosting in advertising and picking a day when nothing else was going on. My last craft before I quit only had 3 kids showing up, where prior to that anywhere between 10 to 20 kids plus parents showed up to do crafts with their kids. And shortly after I quit, I realized how burned out I had been because I was sick lots too.

I’ve always had a week immune system, but I notice whenever I work too hard I get overwhelmed and I get sick. When I keep getting sick, I become unreliable as well as unhealthy – so it was not good for any employers or for me. Basically, anxiety and stress become so bad I get physically ill  (and always a different illness) and have to stop working/quit.

When I say I am unable to work, this is why. I am not lazy Or irresponsible. I’m not just making excuses either. I have mental/emotional disabilities that prevent  me from working a regular job (I am a writer, and self-published author). Just because my disabilities are not physical or visible does not make them invalid, excuses, or nonexistent. You (a general “you”, not everyone or anyone in particular) see someone in a wheelchair who doesn’t work and you totally understand because you can see their disability. But people look at me and see nothing wrong so assume the worst about me and judge me without even trying to understand. I sometimes even get bullied for it by people who do not have anxiety, depression or PTSD and so the don’t understand the struggles I face daily or care enough to try to understand on any level at all.

That is why I thank God for blessing me with friends who do understand because they too suffer either from the same invisible illnesses as me or similar ones like bipolar. And I have my relatives in England and 2 in Australia since they moved there who at least want to understand and try to. They don’t really understand, but they try because they love me. I thank God for them too.

In April of 2012 I was saved when I came to the LORD and was baptized after confessing Jesus as my Lord and Savior. I thought that after everything I had heard about Jesus and the Holy Spirit that I would feel different and immediately feel peace. I was disappointed when I didn’t, but my brothers and sisters in Christ assured me that it was a process that took time and not to get discouraged. I have changed, slowly, in the last 5 years and few months, but not significantly enough for my liking. Also apparently not enough for the minister who baptized me’s liking because he kept getting on my case about things and tried making me feel guilty for not being further along in my walk and because of my depression and anxiety. He kept telling me they are sins, which I know, and making me feel guilty. I started going to another church part-time when I needed to get away from the guilt trips and the Pastor at the other congregation said it was wrong to make me feel bad for my anxiety or depression. Also, I know about Elijah and King David and others who experienced either anxiety, depression, or both at one point (like Jeremiah) in the Bible but God never condemned them or judged them or abandoned them. Instead He encouraged them and gave them strength and courage to keep going and to not give up on life or on His purpose for them.

I recently self-published an inspirational book I wrote about my experiences in the past few years turned into advice with Scripture that relates to the topic I talk about. People are motivated buying it. A few did in July, a couple in August and 1 or 2 this month so far but that’s it. I feel invisible and like no one cares, which is how I have felt most  of my life. I am not blaming anyone, but if people did not keep mistreating me, ignoring me, acting like I carry a deadly infectious plague that could kill them, or like dirt/with cruelty then I would not feel like nobody cares or invisible, or unloved and unwanted. I understand now, as an adult, that it is me who is responsible for my levels of joy and peace I have and for my happiness, but I have over 30 years of emotional abuse and poor treatment to overcome, and when both of these things are still ongoing at times, it makes it harder to overcome them and feel joy or peace. I am still learning how it is possible to have peace when people do not want to be around you and those who are around can be emotionally abusive and/or treat me badly. I am learning how it is possible to love myself properly when it appears no one else does.

Jesus and His followers are teaching me, but I am having a hard time learning. I struggle daily just like everyone else. Everyone has their own problems and some similar to mine, others completely different, but struggles nonetheless. But though I struggle daily, it does not make my advice any less valuable or true since it comes from God and I use Scripture to show it/back it up. For those who do not know Jesus or who are confused , or need encouragement, and/or stronger faith in Jesus and in the One True God, I have things to say in my book that could help, if given a chance.

I wrote my book for those who need it, not for those further in their walk than me who do not need a reminder of some truths, if they have not been forgotten by the person who knows them. I am still learning how to take good care of myself, but I have always been good at helping others. Most of my friends used to come to me for advice all the time. And they always said I gave excellent advice. The only thing that has changed in my advice is that I now have even better advice to give through daily Bible study. I try to discern when to use Scripture and when not to, depending on the person and if the are open to it or not, but it is sound advice. And now it is available for everyone to read in the form of an inspirational  eBook and in paperback too.

I have lost friends over the past few years for a couple of different reasons,  but the main reason Is my faith in Jesus and my daily attempts and struggles to live for Jesus daily. And some people have told me I was high maintenance or too much of a downer (the 2nd one I was told like 2 years after my mom passed away when I was still grieving her loss after that hurt after lot). It seems some ca not handle my anxiety and depression anymore and so we either do not talk at all, or rarely do and it makes me really sad. What makes me sadder still is some of them have their own battles with depression and/or anxiety they deal with daily and I no longer know how to reach them and help them through those times because they won’t let me anymore. So they’re not there for me anymore and they won’t let me be there for them. I get it… physical distance separates us, and that’s hard to overcome, but it didn’t used to be and I don’t get why it suddenly is. I don’t judge these friends or hate them or begrudge them. I pray for them a the time and hope one day their lives will turn around for the better and that mine will too and we can all celebrate our better lives, together, in person. I love a my friends, and I still love those who walked away from our friendship too. My love is unconditional and the only way I know how to love, which is the way Jesus loves each and every one of us too.

I want to help those in need more than I do now, but due to not being able to work and book sales not going well, I am currently unable to which leaves me full of anxiety for my friends, and even for those I don’t know who need help that I can’t give them, and it leaves me frustrated because I desperately want to help but can’t; but people who can help will not, just like in my own life. I get some help. I live with my sister rent free because of a promise she made to my mom before she died. But doctors who could help me fix or heal my broken nose, and some other physical illnesses won’t help and aside from being poor and on MediCal for health insurance, I don’t understand their unwillingness to help me get well. And I both know, and know of too many other people with injuries or physical or mental illnesses and no doctors will help them either.

So why do those in a position to help generally either not help or give bare minimum when those who desperately want to help can’t because no money or resources to help? Some who can help do help, and God will bless them, but too who can help in one way or another don’t. I am not trying to many anybody feel guilty And I’m not  judging anyone. I just sincerely don’t get it. I especially don’t get why doctors will not help those who can’t afford to pay or who have MediCal for health coverage. MediCal pays the doctor’s bill, so what’s the problem?

Also, just because someone suffers from an invisible illness where you can’t see their symptoms or daily struggles does not mean they don’t struggle or that they are lepers or contagious or to be treated badly by anyone, whether doctor or nurse, family member or friend, or boss or coworkers for those who do work despite their illnesses, or by any person including strangers. And everyone suffers from physical illnesses differently too so it is not right to judge anyone for not being able to do something someone else can do with the same illness – like asthma, for example. In fact, only Jesus has the right to judge anyone because He alone knows exactly what each of us experiences and goes through everyday, and God gave Jesus alone the right to judge, which will not take place until His second coming – which no one knows when it will take place so we ought to be prepared daily in case it happens tonight or tomorrow!

 

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Dear faithful readers,

I did another reading from my book How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD. This time I picked 2 paragraphs from 2 separate pages from my book to make the reading a bit longer. I apologize in advance for how low my voice is in the video. I listened to it and you can hear me, so I hope no one has trouble hearing me as they watch! Everyone had just gone to bed when I did this video reading an hour ago.  2 Scriptures I quote in my reading tonight are from Psalms 103:8 (1st paragraph I read) and Isaiah 26:3 (2nd paragraph I read from).

God is not angry with you! He loves you, unconditionally! And He wants to protect you and give you peace!

Short Reading 2 from How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD

You can get my book here in eBook format for Kindle here: https://www.amazon.com/Live-Godly-Life-Alexis-Wright-ebook/dp/B074196VMB/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500530872&sr=8-1&keywords=Alexis+Kaye+Wright

Or in paperback here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1975611586

or here: https://www.createspace.com/7483987

Off Topic…

I am relieved that Hurricane Irma is almost gone now, and will continue praying for Florida, Georgia, The Carolinas (North and South), and everyone else affected! I am also continuing prayers for Texas and Louisiana and everyone else affected by Hurricane Harvey.  I will not stop praying until all hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, flooding, and fires are gone and the people affected do not need prayers anymore.

Come back to the place of safety, all you prisoners who still have hope. I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles.Zechariah 9:12

 

 

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Dear Faithful Readers,

I was inspired by someone else to read aloud from my book! I picked a paragraph about God’s and Jesus’ love for everyone! This could be the first of a few more if people actually want more and let me know by viewing this video and either liking or commenting or both! I want the whole world to know God and Jesus exist/are real, love them/everyone, feel encouraged and grow stronger in their faith!!!!!! If you need any of these things then I recommend reading my book, and read it with your Holy Bible or bible.com /Bible app via YouVersion for cellphones, iPads and other Tablets!

Short Reading from How to Live a Godly Life: Things I Learned in my Walk with the LORD

I quoted Jeremiah 31:3 and a couple of other verses about God’s and Jesus’ love! God bless and may His peace be with you!

P.S. Is there anyone who wants to read my book, but cannot afford it right now because money is tight? Money is super tight for me, but I can afford to give 1 person a free eBook version of my book to read on their Kindle if they give me their email address to send it to them as a gift! If you do, 1st person that sends me their email address (I think there is the option to email me here, isn’t there?) in response to this will get the free copy!

P.P.S I am still praying for everyone being affected, or who was, by any hurricanes or natural disasters (including tornadoes and earthquakes), flooding, and/or fires. My faithful readers are included if any live in any states or countries affected by any of these things! I also pray for all of my readers constantly thanking God for you and praying for your well-being, peace, and other stuff you may stand in need of!

Preview My Book!

Hello my loyal readers,

I just discovered a way you can get a free preview of my book more easily! Click the link below:

Just click “Free Preview”, and it will take you to the 1st chapter of my book!

Do not forget to have your Bible or http://www.bible.com (or the Bible app which is the same as bible.com but the app version for phones) while reading my book once you have purchased it! I hope you will read it and that God will bless you and open your eyes, heart, and mind as you do read my book with your Bible or Bible app/website, and that you get what you need out of it. God bless!

I am thankful to God for helping me write these blogs that (the best ones) turned into the book it is now, for helping me publishing it, and for you, my loyal readers who keep coming back when I post something new. I am also thankful for new readers I get when I post something new. In other words, I am thankful for all of you.

P.S. If anyone has any questions about my book, or about me (as it relates to my book), please let me know. I will do my best to answer the questions asked. Thank you.

Update to my Book

Dear readers,

Through the bad review of my first reviewer, I went back and looked at my book again and discovered some mistakes. I have corrected them and published them last night, and are now available. If you have my book, try to sync your Kindle or Kindle app and see if it uploads the updated version of my book.

If you have not yet gotten it, you can get it now here: https://www.amazon.com/Live-Godly-Life-Alexis-Wright-ebook/dp/B074196VMB/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1500530872&sr=8-1&keywords=Alexis+Kaye+Wright

This book is for people who want to know the Truth (about God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Bible), and/or who need a boost in their faith and want to learn how the Bible tells us to handle situations and how to stay in faith through trials. Jesus loves you, unconditionally! God bless to all of you!

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Dear readers,

Last night I received the “green light” I was looking for from God to self-publish my book with Kindle Direct Publishing. I published it last night, and it went live today!!!!!!!! If anyone is interested, here is the link below:

KDP is in the process of making changes to my name I hope because I updated it to “Alexis Kaye Wright” so I will be keeping track of that, but it is ready for sale now. ***Update – It looks like the changes are complete! Woohoo!!! **** It is only $3.99, and if at the end of the 60 day period, when I get paid, if I have enough in royalties to publish it in paperback, I will. But for now, it is eBook only and only with Kindle at the moment. I am so excited I can barely contain it, but the people I want to tell live too far away to tell in person so I am just about to burst with excitement here! I praise the LORD for this incredible blessing of making it my time to be published! His Holy Spirit helped me write it, and I wrote it to glorify God and to reach others and help draw them near to the LORD God.

I prayed without ceasing as I was told to in Scripture (1 Thessalonians 5:17), I committed my plans to the LORD as Solomon instructed in Proverbs 16:3, and now I am super thankful to the LORD for making it happen and that I am now a published author! Thank You LORD, for this amazing blessing!

If anyone does buy it, if they are willing, can you please give me feedback? It is pretty much a compilation of the best blogs I posted on here with a couple of stuff I have not posted here and like acknowledgements and stuff. My hope is this book will bring hope, inspiration, and draw whoever reads it close (or closer) to the LORD. It is a book for anyone whether they are non-believers, non-believers on the fence who are unsure, new believers, and even seasoned believers. And if any seasoned believers read it, if there are any suggestions or comments about my book, please feel free to tell me, in kind respectful ways. God bless to all of you! This would not be possible without you guys for reading my blogs and encouraging me as you have! God gets all the credit, but you, my readers, I also thank all of you.

Pleasing God Above People

Pleasing God Above People

 For my whole life I was a people pleaser, but in the last 5 years in my walk with the Lord, I learned that is not pleasing to God. We are to please God above people, not vice versa. God calls us to help others, but there is a difference between helping someone in need and bending over backwards to please them and make them happy. When you make pleasing people more important than pleasing God, then you are forgetting your purpose as a child of God. God did not create any of us to be people pleasers, but to serve and to please Him. You may lose some friendships when you put God above others, but the right people will stay in your life. When your life is pleasing to God, He will help remove the wrong people from your life who are hindering your walk with the Lord and will place people in your life who will help you. God will also send people to you for you to help them with their walk with the Lord.

But please do not make the same mistake I did in trying to help someone else before you are steady and firm in your faith. The people you seek to help will be looking at your life, your attitude and behavior, your words and actions – at everything – to see how you conduct yourself. If you are telling or encouraging them in one area but they see you doing the opposite of what you say, then that will confuse them and turn them off to the Lord, and possibly to you. Heed the Lord’s warning from Matthew 7:3-5: “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend (brother/sister in Christ), ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye?” Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to help deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” I wish I had actually taken this warning into consideration, maybe then I would not have lost someone dear to me and maybe he would still be following the Lord instead of straying so far from Him the way he has. This relates to pleasing God because it does not please Him when we are at least in part, responsible for someone being led astray by confusing them. We try so desperately to please God that we end up making a colossal mistake. So let us follow carefully the instructions, commands, warnings, and advice the Lord and God give to us in Scripture. This way we will be doing what pleases God.

Matthew 10:28 tells us not to worry about people who have the ability to kill our physical bodies, for they can’t touch our souls. Instead, we are to fear God, who can destroy both soul and body in Hell.

There are more verses below that warn against seeking the approval of (or being concerned about the approval of) people above God. There are more in the Book of Proverbs, especially in chapters 10-31 both about the consequences of pleasing others instead of God, and on ways that please God and I encourage you all to read through the whole Book. Chapters 1-4 deal with how to attain spiritual wisdom and understanding, so those are definitely worth looking at too if your objective is to please God and to attain wisdom in the process. We are told in Proverbs 3:5-6 to “lean not on your own understanding, but to trust God and to seek His will in all that we do.”

 

Galatians 1:10 ESV

For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.

1 Thessalonians 2:4 ESV

But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.

Proverbs 29:25 ESV

The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.

John 12:43 ESV

For they loved the glory that comes from man more than the glory that comes from God.

Colossians 3:23 ESV

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men

Acts 5:29 ESV

But Peter and the apostles answered, We must obey God rather than men.”

Isaiah 2:22 ESV

Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?

2 Corinthians 5:9 ESV

So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him.

Galatians 2:20 ESV

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

John 5:44 ESV

How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

Romans 12:1-2 ESV

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

 We are obedient to God when we honor His command to love one another, but we must learn to love them the way we are told to instead of making them our whole world and making pleasing others our top priority so nobody gets hurt. It is painful to hurt someone we care about when we have to either say something to them they don’t want to hear and can or will hurt them, but it is far worse for both of you if you do not tell them what God has instructed you to tell them, or to fail to do what God instructed you to do where the other person is concerned, regarding their reckless behavior or something specifically they are saying or doing that they need to stop doing before it is too late for them to repent and turn back to God to be saved. Remember this though: it is only our responsibility as Christ’s followers to warn them, or to plant the seeds and/or to water them. God is the only One who has the ability to make those godly seeds planted inside them to grow (1 Corinthians 3:6-8). In other words: we are to love others, including our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48), and to help guide them on God’s path, but, we must be sure that we are in a stable place in our own faith where we can effectively do that, and we must be sure that our objective is to please God and not put priority over the other person. God is to be number 1 in our hearts and in every area of our lives, and we must show works of faith too, in order to please Him.

Read James chapter 2 and Hebrews 11 to read more about showing our faith in the actions we take. Our actions either show that we have faith in God, which pleases Him, or shows a lack of faith which grieves Him. He wants us to fully trust, love, awe, honor, and obey Him, willingly, because we want to. The LORD wants a close, intimate relationship with each and every one of us, and Scripture tells us how that is made possible and how to maintain the intimate connection, and how to make it grow stronger, once it has been made through our faith in action (repenting, confessing Jesus as our Lord and Savior after hearing God’s word and deciding to believe it completely, being baptized in the name of God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and then daily taking up our crosses to follow Jesus). Jesus outlines in the Gospels what the cost of following Him is, and the requirements for being His disciple. When we follow these instructions, we please God. He warns us against loving our mother, father, sister, brother, child, or anyone else above Him (read Matthew 10:37-39 and Matthew 16:24-27). We are to love Jesus the most in order to please God. And Hebrews 11:6 tells us “it is impossible to please God without faith”, and when we have faith in God, we will naturally want to please God, and will learn to make pleasing Him more important than pleasing others.

The right people, even if they are hurt at the beginning, will come around and accept God’s truth. As for everyone else, God tells us not to worry about them. Once we have done what we are commanded or called to do, it is in God’s hands. Let us then decide today to make every effort to please God above everything else and to seek His will in all we say and do, and in our attitudes and behavior. Let us decide to love God with all of our hearts, minds, soul, and strength (Mark 12:30) -> with our whole being. If any of us here have trouble doing that, let us come to the throne of our loving and merciful God in prayer and ask Him and His Holy Spirit to give us the help we need to show our love for Him, to equip us with all we need to obey Him, and any other areas we need help with. God is just and faithful and He will give us the help we need when our goal is to please Him. God loves all of you unconditionally. He will gladly help you where you are in need of His help. May God’s peace be with you and may You feel his love in your hearts.