I wrote this poem a couple of days ago after waking up from a bad dream where I could not find my mom and it was close to my birthday and I woke up with overwhelming grief and write out how I felt in my journal and then I wrote this:
“It has been almost 14 years to the day
Since she passed away
My mom is gone, alive on Earth no more
Since being hit by a car in December of 2017, I feel the loss stronger than ever before
Where was God when she felt unloved?
Where was God when her spirit was crushed,
and her heart and soul were broken?
Why did He let her die with her heart not able to be fully open?
Unable to open her heart to receive God’s, mine, and others’ love for her inside.
If she had, maybe she would not have cried and cried, and given up on living (and recovering from her heart attacks), or made the decision to go Home and die.
My Mom’s death left a huge hole in my heart and in my life.
And the worst part is I never got to say goodbye to her while she was still (barely) alive.
God promises me my heart He will mend
And He promises me I will see my Mom again, on the day I die and He brings me Home to Heaven.
But right now I miss her so much it hurts.
And in my life, there are days I see no worth.
I am putting in energy and time to work through my grief.
Death is a rotten, dirty thief!
But deah does Not have the final word.
My pain and tears, God has not ignored.
My health, heart, relationships and everything else will be FULLY Restored!
By the LORD, my God, Whom I love and adore.”
I also read 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 to remind myself that I will see my mom again and be reunited with her forever. I also read verses like Psalms 34:17-20, 147:3 and Zephaniah 3:17 when I am really missing my mom and need to know God cares and is here with me.
Thank you to everyone that takes the time to read this. I miss my mom a lot and the anniversary of her death (June 28, 2006) is coming up… So prayers and hugs appreciated and I keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. 💜🙏
P.S. If there is anyone else missing a lost loved one, I can pray for you if you let me know, or we can talk about it if you need someone to talk to. God bless and may God’s peace be with you All!