A few years ago, I posted on here about unconditional love prevailing and listed the qualities of it, which come from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. I also gave examples of what unconditional love is not, so that anyone experiencing any of the behaviors or things mentioned could see that it was not true love or meant to be and get out of the relationship and move on. Finally, I gave hope (which I hope actually gave my readers hope) that true love prevails and so if it is meant to be, it will find a way to be, when God says it is the right time. After re-reading my post, which by the way is already good as it is, I thought about it and now that I have learned some more from life experiences, I want to share it with you and hope that you can learn from my mistakes.
Unconditional Love Prevails Part 2_What to Do While Waiting
In addition to the advice given in the original post, I recommend writing a list of things you would like to grow in the “garden of your heart” and in the “garden of your true love’s heart” (spiritually, thinking as if what kind of flowers you would chose to put in a physical garden if you had one, but instead it is the qualities and anything else you want found in your heart like Jesus, faith, hope, love, joy, peace, faithfulness, desire to please God, etc.) and then pray for your heart and your true love’s heart to grow these things in the “garden” in your heart and in their heart. I read this in a book I read over the summer about what to do while waiting for your true love. It was addressed to women of God, but the advice can apply to either the man or the woman. It also said something about women not being the one to pursue the man because that is the man’s job and it can mess up the relationship. I didn’t even know I was doing it until it was too late. So please learn from my mistakes and do not make the same mistakes yourself ladies! And men, if you are in love with a woman, tell her and do everything you can (including praying to God about it and following His lead on what to do) to be with her, especially if you know she feels the same way and believe God led you to meeting her and bringing her into your life and she makes you feel good about yourself, treats you right, and tries to keep your relationship with Jesus alive and draw you closer to Him. The idea here is to be so busy with your relationship with the Lord that you have no time to worry about whether or not the person you are in love with and want to be with will ever straighten out, or realize you’re both meant to be together and if it will ever happen. And then the time will come when you are so close with the Lord that your faith will become strong and firm and you will trust Him to honor His promises and to love you faithfully and unfailingly. He is the example of how to treat others, whether in a romantic relationship, friendship, or any kind of relationship. And remember, Jesus was never abusive in any way, so if someone is abusive whether verbally, mentally, physically, or in any way, then get out of that relationship now and pray for the person from afar, from a safe place and at a safe distance. Let Jesus be your example in all ways in every area of your life, and let Jesus be the center of your world. I admit, I am still learning this for myself, but if Jesus is your focus, then you will have the peace and joy only He can give, that He promises to us in John 14:27 and 15:11.
Whether you are the man or the woman, pray to God about the person you believe is your true love to find out if he or she is truly “the one” God is telling you He wants you to be with. If the answer is yes, then pray to God on what to do first (men). And women, pray to God that this man is first of all, a praying man and in a right relationship with the Lord, and secondly, that he be given the courage to pursue a relationship with you and reveal his feelings for you to you. Prayer and following God’s guidance on what to do and keeping Jesus first in your heart, in the center of your relationship, and in every area of your life will lead to the results you desire with your true love, and in life, because Jesus is number one and God’s plan is infinitely better than anything you could dream up or imagine. Remember God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11 about His plan for your life. God is faithful and will honor His promise in the right time, and God sees the whole picture, so He will know when the right time is for the two of you to be together. In the meantime, you have a Lord and Savior – Jesus, who loved you so much He died for you to save you (1 John 3:16) and conquered death when He was resurrected 3 days later. And now He wants to shower you with His unconditional love for you. Spend time with Jesus in private Bible study daily, in prayer, in meditation (meditating on His love for you and also if you ask for something in prayer, He might answer when your mind is quiet), and any other way you can think of. Perhaps you can spend time with Jesus through worship music or hymns that praise Him or God or Both, so you are not just doing that at church on Sundays, but every day, or as often as possible and as your priorities begin to become straight (in alignment with what God says our priority order ought to be, with Him and Jesus number 1), you may find time more frequently and possibly daily to add worship music, and dance if you like to dance. If not, then just praising the LORD through hymns and worship music will do your spirit and soul good, which will also be good for your physical health and emotional health.
Remember also, that your body is a temple to the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19) Do not use any part of your body to sin against the Lord or the Holy Spirit. Premarital relations (doing anything God says are meant for married couples only to be doing) is a sin and it will have serious consequences, believe me. I have never done it, but someone else I know has and now everything is messed up beyond repair – that is, it is humanly impossible for things to ever work out, and it would take God’s desire for things to work out with this person and His supernatural abilities to work it out for it to happen. Do not let that happen to you. If it has in one way or another (if you or the other person has had premarital relations whether with each other or with another person), then pray to God about it. If it is the person God had written in His book for you to be with, then perhaps there is still a chance for things to turn around in the right time. But pray to God about it and listen to what He says about it and do what He tells you to do. It may be what I am suggesting: focusing on deepening and strengthening your relationship with Jesus and placing Him number 1 in your heart and keeping Him and God’s Kingdom number 1 in every area of your life.
Do not let depression drown you or anxiety keep you awake nights, for this leads nowhere and just makes you tired and miserable, and can make life extremely difficult, especially when it comes to getting things done that need doing and you are unable to do them because you are too tired or ill (physically) to do anything other than get out of bed to use the bathroom or get food and water. If this already sounds like you, do not worry because it is not too late to overcome your depression, anxiety, or both. Taking your focus off your situation/problems and refocusing your attention to Jesus and spending time with Him in various ways throughout the day every day will most certainly help. The more time you spend in God’s Word and with Jesus, the more His promises will be written in your heart, and you will learn more of both God’s and Jesus’ character and heart and you will find yourself taking more steps in faith (for faith without works – that is, without action – is dead, as the Apostle James wrote in James 2:14-26 with the key verses being 17 and 26), and as you take more steps in faith, your faith will grow. In time, your depression and anxiety will lessen greatly or may even go away completely, depending on God’s will for you and if there is a purpose for either the anxiety or depression that will strengthen your character and will enable you to help other people in similar situations as you or who also suffer from anxiety, depression, or both. if you need to, talk to a professional about it. There are Christian counselors you can see for depression, anxiety, or both, if talking about it would help you; or perhaps you can talk to your minister or Pastor about it privately. I also recommend keeping a journal of how you feel, what thoughts are created by how you feel or what you are thinking and how that makes you feel, and then open your Bible to the Scripture that talks about your situation and see what God says about it. He may lead you to 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 or to 1 John 3-4 or somewhere else entirely, depending what your focus is on and what He wants to reveal to you about it. Whatever verses He leads you to, write them down under your negative thoughts and feelings and then write down underneath the Verses you write down how you feel after reading those verses and saying them either out loud, or in your head. The idea being that we replace the lies we believe based on current circumstances or what Satan has whispered in our ears, or what other people have said, with the Truth. God’s point of view, no matter what the topic is, is always the Truth, and it is what we need to reprogram our minds to be focusing our thoughts on. God’s truth is what we ought to give great thought to throughout the day every day, and what we should be speaking over our lives and over the lives of others. If God placed the desire in your heart to be married and it hasn’t happened yet (or if it has but there are trials and tribulations in your marriage), then have faith in God that things will work out. Prayer offered in complete faith and sincerity has great power and produces wonderful results. (James 5:16) And it is God who placed the desire in your heart to be married to the right person.
God promises in Psalms 37:4 “Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” This means that only He (the LORD) can fulfill us and complete us, and only He can give us true peace in our hearts, and satisfy our longings in our hearts. It means we find our worth in the LORD, who declares that we are fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14 NIV) and that we are His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). We must first realize that it is Jesus Christ alone who completes us and whom we find our worth in, not in another person. If we rely on another person to complete us or for our happiness, then you will both (you and the person who hinge your happiness on) be miserable. You need to both be 2 separate whole people (made whole by Jesus Christ our Lord) coming together to join your lives together – when you get married, and be able to find joy and peace apart from one another. You are to add happiness, joy, love, and peace to one another’s lives, not be the only source of it. Listen: You are already whole and complete without another person whether a significant other or a family member or friend. Jesus completes you, Jesus makes you whole. You are worthy and valuable, and loved beyond measure by the One who created you (God) and by our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ (God’s Son). God and Jesus love you unconditionally and want you to always be filled with joy and peace, no matter what is going on in your life – even through trials and tribulations. So take delight in the LORD and then you will begin to see Him giving you the desires He placed in your heart.
No matter how many mistakes you or the other person made, if it is meant to be, then God will find a way to right the wrongs, and for the two of you to be together. The key is to go about living your life for Jesus, without stressing or worrying over whether or not you or the person you are in love with is the one you are meant to be with. When you focus your eyes on Jesus, and on following His instructions and commands for your life and live to please Him and God, then in the right time, which only God knows when that will be for the both of you, God will bring the person you are meant to be with into – or back into – your life and everything will work out as long as both of you keep Jesus number 1 in your hearts and in all areas of your life, including Him being at the center of your relationship with the person God wants you to spend the rest of your life with. Do not force things to happen, or it will backfire and you could lose the person, and if not forever, then at least it will take a whole lot longer for things to be worked out on both your end (in your heart and in your life, and in their heart and in their life) for the two of you to be together. You may need to let the person you love go for a while so that God can work in their heart and in their life to make them the man or woman God created them to be, for Him and for you. And you may need to work on your own spiritual walk too. Have faith in God that it will work out at the right time. Let Jesus be the anchor to your hope. Despite how things may look now, God promises in Romans 8:37 “No, despite all these things (trouble, calamity, hunger, persecution, etc.) overwhelming victory is ours through Christ.” Overwhelming victory will be yours too, which means that true and unconditional love will prevail. In light of this, keep praying, keep deepening your relationship with the Lord and going further in your walk with Him, keep hoping, keep believing, and take actions in your life that back up your faith – even if that action is waiting patiently and building your relationship with Jesus and living your life without the other person for a while, until God makes the way for it to happen when the time is right for both you and your true love. There are days that will be harder than others, and then there will be days where faith, hope, and peace are easy for you when you begin to see the pattern of God’s faithfulness in your life. Persevere through it all and you will see things work out better than you could ever have hoped. It might not be exactly how you envisioned it would, or when, but God promises it will be worth the wait.
Note: This advice works for friendships and family members too. If you are at odds with, or in a fight with a friend or family member, pray for the person persistently and if there is any unforgiveness in your heart towards the person, pray for God to help you fully forgive the person (or yourself or both if necessary) and keep praying to forgive until you have let go of all the hurt and pain and are able to fully forgive. And keep praying for the other person to come to know the Lord (if they don’t, or if they do not have the truth about God or Jesus) and that thy will believe and accept the truth and Jesus into their hearts and take the necessary steps to enter a soul-saving relationship with the Lord (you can pray this for your true love as well as for family members, friends, and even enemies since God tells us to love and pray for our enemies). If the person you are fighting with, estranged from, or at odds with is meant to be a permanent part of your life, then things will work out and your relationship with one another and their relationship with the Lord will all be mended, restored, and strengthened.